The Drama Queen's Apartment

12.6.09 Final Reflection

2009-12-06T16:42:00.000-08:00

Well the end of the semester is near, and for blogs the end is here. Hard to believe. These blogs have been a huge part of my first semester here. At first, I really hated them. They were a seemingly unimportant pain, a distraction to my Sunday and Wednesday nights (since I almost always waited last minute). However, my opinions have changed. As the semester progressed I really began to take our biweekly blogs more seriously, and have enjoyed them more as a result. Usually, I would blog as a way to complain about things in my life or in the world. That's no longer the case. Through blogs we have a way to express more than what we dislike. In reflections and our question assignments we can talk about ideas, dreams, the future, the past. I enjoy them, despite taking months. Nonetheless, I am happy. I realize I wasn't wasting my time. My ability to write informally has drastically improved, a style of writing that until now I was never able to employ in my schoolwork.

Much has changed in my life as I reflect on this first collegiate semester. I came into school with a clear idea of my future: major and graduate with a degree in International Relations, get my Master's somewhere and maybe my PhD, and land a great career like that. Now I have no idea, but I'm not too concerned. We're in college to explore our options, to get to know ourselves better. I've got time. I picked the majority of my second semester courses in areas that interest me and am looking forward to all of them. My work ethic, too, has changed. I've limited my procrastinating, a great step forward from earlier on in the semester and I like it that way and plan to keep it up. Grades have improved and so has my sleep schedule.

So I say goodbye, my bittersweet blog friend. We've had some interesting times together, typically late at night and weary-eyed, though no longer. I'm sure we'll be reunited, though I know not when. Until then, keep frustrating students. It will really pay off, believe it or not. It has for me.

the end...

2009-12-05T20:54:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here, trying to do my homework, which has been a complete fail on my part. It is funny that when I started the semester I was able to do my homework easily and quickly. Now it takes me forever to even get started. All that said, I spent my last saturday night of this semester watching Friday Night Lights with some friends. It is safe to say it was probably a perfect ending. As I read most some of the last blogs everyone is very reflective of how things have changed since the beginning, so I feel like I should probably recap too! After the first day I was ready to go home, I wanted summer back! But now I have grown to love it, and love the people, it has been a great opportunity to see just how different everyone is...really really really different, but in a good way! I have learned to just go with the flow and manage school at the same time! Explorations has been a crazy experience. I feel like it is the season finale of a show and even though your happy for that break, you can't wait to see what happens next season! Thats what college is for me right now. I have nothing more to say really, words can't describe the people I have met and the experiences I have had. I hope everyone has a lovely break...SEE YOU NEXT SEMESTER!!

Final Reflection

2009-12-05T11:00:00.000-08:00

Wow! I guess I am starting this off like everybody else, but I seriously can't believe that the semester has come to an end! It really does feel like we just got here but at the same time, I feel like I have learned so much.

It is actually pretty funny. For awhile I was slightly confused about what it was I was supposed to be learning, but then it hit me. This class was not really about the books and other things that we read. Like Allie Cat said in her reflection, this class is more about learning from other people. We were all able to come into a situation in which we could voice our opinions about so many different thing and also learn from what other people in the class had to say. It was so interesting to see that I have the exact same opinion as many other people in the class about so many different topics. It was also very interesting to hear about situations from the perspective of people who had completely different ideas about things.

Surprisingly enough, Explorations has actually been helpful in my other classes. I can't count the number of Goffman references I have made to people who have no idea what I am talking about. Even though I still have no idea what I am going to do with my life, I feel like this class has been valuable. I've learned that there are a lot of people out there who feel or felt the exact same way as I do. Hearing the guest speakers say over and over again that everything just manages to work out in the end was not exactly pleasant at the time, it is good to know that even incredibly successful people did not always have a plan. I guess overall, the most important thing I've learned is that there is not an exact science to figuring things out in life. They just sort of work out and hopefully, for all of us, in the end, things really will work out.

Final Reflection

2009-12-05T09:39:00.000-08:00

This semester has gone by so incredibly fast. Yes, I realize that I began my final reflection with a cliche, but the truth is that our welcome week feels like it barely just ended, and now we are taking finals.

And now we have to reflect on all of this stuff. Sheesh. Well, here goes-

In the Explorations seminar, I found the readings to be secondary to interaction with my peers in learning our class objectives. I learned more about myself when I was talking with my classmates than I did from Goffman or Bellah. In these interactions with my friends, I had actual inspiration to analyze who I am, who I was, and what I believe. Learning the stories of my classmates and hearing their opinions made me think of my own. In turn, I would think of how I want to spend my future.

That's not to say I didn't learn anything from the course itself. The books were informative. Goffman gave a vocabulary to those known but unnamed aspects of social interaction. Augustine shed life on one man's logic in the 5th century. Heinlen presented an interesting view of the military's interaction with society. The only problem for me is that these were not flesh and blood examples. Although they actually happened, as in the cases of Goffman and Augustine, the stories of my classmates seemed more relevant to me as one in a similar situation to their own.

If I had the choice, I would choose Explorations again for my first semester UC seminar. Ultimately, as a class exploring identity, I learned the most from those around me. I have never had such an amazing mix of classmates, and I probably won't again.

And So Here's The End of the Semester

2009-12-04T13:54:00.000-08:00

I can't believe how quickly the semester has gone by... before I know it, I'll be done with college! Okay, I'm not going to get ahead of myself. But looking back at this semester, I really feel as though no time has past between now and August 15th.

It's kind of like when you have a monumental birthday, when you turn 18 or something and you expect to feel extremely grown up and different, but you don't. That's kind of how I feel about this semester: I though I'd become completely different - more mature or something - but that hasn't happened. The only thing that has changed is that I feel closer to being older, closer to being my own adult and closer to what I could conceivably do with the rest of my life. Having said that, I bet my ideas will change at the end of next semester - that's just how I roll.

The best thing is that I went through this semester without having a stress attack which I am very happy for. That feels like a big thing, but I just realized I have a whole other semester to get through and then 3 more years. I won't get ahead of myself in that department.

What has been great about Explorations is that I have found it so applicable to all my other classes. I love it when you have moments where everything overlaps and just falls into place. I am glad I powered through Goffman and he seems to come up every other day in my life. Just yesterday (or possibly today) I was talking to Jena about changing identities. As an International Relations major, I love the idea of different identities and find it fascinating to see all these different walks of life. Starship Troopers, for me, was a great book for me to read at a time in my life where I seem to finally be able to "catagorize" myself in regards to how I see the world. I've always known I'm cynical, but I guess I never fully realized just how cynical my outlook on the human race is!

Especially with St Augustine and Antigone, Explorations sort of introduced a new style of thought to me. It's so much the contextual analysis of the work, but more has to do with the implications of what works say and how it can be applied to everything else around it. For example, when Antigone's want to bury her brother raised so many questions about what a burial actually means, and who it is for. Having read Antigone before, that is never something that we would have thought to discuss, glossing over it as an act of sisterly affection in order to ensure that her brother has the welcoming to the afterlife.

It has been a good semester - so far I have enjoyed all the newness of college and everything and am looking foreword to the next semester.

12.2.09 Which community would I join?

2009-12-02T15:14:00.000-08:00

This is an incredibly difficult question to answer, but a fun and interesting one nonetheless (for real). What's difficult is that there are so many communities I would join! However, for the sake of this blog question I will choose only one of the incredible amount of communities that appeal to me: Middle-earth, in particular, the Shire.

To those of you that are sadly oblivious to exactly what Middle-earth is, the wondrous land is none other then the setting of Lord of the Rings. The Shire is where those famous hobbits, Frodo, Samwise, Merry, and Pippin reside, or at least did. But why would I like to join their company? Well there's plenty. For one, hobbits know how to have a good time. They have epic feasts with plenty of dancing and tomfoolery. Always a raucous occasion. Gandalf would also be in our company, blowing amazing dragon smoke figures.

I also love the setting itself. The area is similar to England/Scotland. With rolling hills of green velvety grass, the landscape is serene peaceful. Architecture, too, is a great plus. The circular doors of the hobbits' houses are unique and homely, as well as their cozy interiors. It simply is a majestic land.

On a different note, I think it would also be incredible to be a giant compare to the itsy hobbits. All in all, the Shire is a wonderful community that would be welcoming to an outsider giant liek myself. Though I could never realistically join it (well maybe under the influence of hallucinogens), it is always fun to dream.

LAST BLOG QUESTION!!!!!

2009-12-02T13:30:00.001-08:00

I am finding it hard to believe that I have finally reached the last blog question, it means that the semester is basically over. I go home in 7 days for a lovely Christmas break and I am so incredibly excited. It is funny, that this blog question seems so simple, yet it is the hardest for me to answer. I entered this class thinking that I would figure out what I wanted to do - sadly I am leaving more confused than ever and its not because of this class. I have been exposed to so much during my first semester here at American that I have discovered so many opportunities that could lead to possible professional communities that I could join and because of that I have no idea what I want to do. Currently I belong to the community of I don't know and I'm okay with that. That is what college is about -discovering where you fit in this big world.
I am going to use this next semester to explore all possible options. It is funny when you are younger you know exactly what you want to do. There is no doubt in your mind when you say you want to be a singer or a firefighter. There is that determination and somewhere along that way that is lost and options are exposed to you, and the long hard process is revealed and life gets harder.
It is true what they say - you don't appreciate those naps in Pre-K until you no longer have the time to take them and you do not appreciate that enthusiasm until you are doubting the decisions you make. I do not know anyone else, but I would love to go back to Pre-K for a day. That was a great community!

Community Choice

2009-12-02T08:03:00.000-08:00

Interestingly enough, the question of which community I would like to join has been one that has bothered me throughout my life. I've always been on the hunt for my place in the world, whether it be with religion, politics, subculture, or other areas of society.
One community that I have not changed my desire to join, however, is the music scene. I don't want to be in a band, or a producer, or a record executive, but something more humble. I would prefer to be part of a band's road crew, or work at a venue. I would have access to both the musicians and the fans, which would allow a personal relationship with the two greatest parts of the music scene: the talents and personalities of the artists, and the enthusiasm and creativity of their fans. For one who considers music to be a sort of personal religion, a therapy that has never failed me, membership in such a community would be extremely fulfilling.
Ultimately, before I can join any new community, I still need to find out exactly where I stand in the communities I am already a part of. Although I am certain of the overall substance of my identity, I still need to clarify its form. I know my family, my religion, my opinions, my dreams, etc., but I have yet to define them with certainty. Before I can be a roadie, a venue worker, or a member of any new community, I must figure this out.

my community!

2009-12-01T16:24:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking along time about this question...I've had this page up for over an hour and have walked away from it trying to wrap my head around it. I think the reason I'm having such a hard time with it is because when you ask "What community do you want to be in," what I interpret is "What do I want to do and be great at?".

My first thought was that I wanted to be ballet dancer at the Opera Garnier in Paris. I love ballet but was stupid and stopped dancing seriously when I was pretty young so now I am left with the reciprocal of what I had 10 years ago: the passion but no skill. And in order to dance at the level of the dancers at the Opera de Paris, you need to have been dancing 24/7 from age 2.... bit late now.

So I'm a bit lacking in terms of having the ability to enter this prestigious community but that is the reason I want to be part of this community. Ballet in its modern form has been around since before the French Revolution and is just such a graceful dance form, even if it does kill your body. If the actual Ballet hasn’t entranced you, look at the Opera Garnier. It is the most beautiful hall with so much history. It’s where The Phantom of the Opera supposedly resided! How can you not fall in love with the history and grandeur of the place, even more so the city? It is beautiful: the City of Lights. And this is where I stopped: I’m supposed to be writing about the community I want to join. It morphs from Ballet all the way to Paris...

The other reason I found it so hard to pick a community is because it’s my nature to want to try everything. I don’t like to be tied down into any one thing. I like to know that I can still experience a wide range of things without having to necessarily fully commit myself. I’m a bit of a nomad…you can’t really help but feel like that after a trans-Atlantic move. I want to go everywhere and not just stay in one community no matter how happy I feel there.

But yes, that would be a great community for me. There is even a chance that I could embrace my more nomadic side and get to travel the world as a “famous ballet dancer”! What a dream! Of course it’s a bit of a short lived community life; but two of the presentations we had today featured communities in which death was an imminent - for lack of a better term - thing. Jonestown and the Retirement community both sort of have death looming over them. Nothing lasts forever: no community last forever. But this is what I have chosen for the short time I could spend in it...in a parallel universe where my dancing is magnifique!

What I am Thankful For

2009-11-29T21:08:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving may have been and gone but I still have things for which I am thankful:

I just registered!! It feels good - though I just have to meet with my advisor to confirm everything... I am thankful for getting into the classes I wanted.

I am thankful that we are so close to the end of the semester! It has been crazy and amazing and we're 1/8th of the way through our college careers!

I am thankful that I was able to spend a lovely long weekend with my family (even though I sprained my ankle and bruised my knee, and not just like badly...they REALLY hurt! and look gross)

I went upstate NY to a State Park and realized at the last minute that this particular park was open for the hunting season! Bye bye State Park! I am thankful we realized that in time.

I am thankful that I will going home in 3 weeks to England, spending Christmas there for the first time in 5 years!

I hope everyone else had a wonderful break and are energized for the final push! I can't believe we are so close to the finish line!

One last thing I am thankful for is that we do not live in a world like that of Starship Troopers. Though a great books, there are other ways that citizens can gain more weight and perspective in regards to their vote. Actually to be honest, the whole becoming a citizen thing does resonate in me because I can't vote in the US and when I can in 5ish years time when I get citizenship, I will take my vote so seriously because it wasn't just expected of me, it was granted to me after what will have been 10 years in the US. Similarly, I was very aware of the power I held when I got to vote in the European Palimentary elections. I had to vote basically absentee so I felt that my vote kept me an active citizen of the UK.

I am thankful to be an adult and have a say in important issues…sometimes…

"What is this, Middle School?"

2009-11-29T16:58:00.000-08:00

Over the past few months, like the rest of us freshman, I've been settling into my study and work routine. I plop down in front of my computer, check my email and facebook, put on some music, and get to work. The routine has served me well, with satisfactory results.
One point of note in my routine is the type of music that I play to help me along in my studies. For some reason, a lot of the old, angry punk rock that I listened to in high school and middle school. Back then, I listened to that music from a sense of alienation and a lack of self-respect. Now, for some reason, I drown out the angry ( and often horribly sung and horribly written lyrics) and focus on the punishing guitars and fast drums like an army listens for the drums to set their pace.
If I look at my routine this way, it would seem that I look at schoolwork as a sort of a battle. With every assignment, I fight to earn my degree and keep my scholarship.
It would seem that my attitude towards my work is manifesting itself in my manner of completing it. While the facebook and email checking are daily events, my choice of music serves as a means of keeping up my morale.

11.29.09 Reflection

2009-11-29T16:39:00.000-08:00

This past week was one dominated, quite understandably, by the prospect of Thanksgiving and the accompanying break. For me, things got off with . I was one of a select few Leonardians on the second floor who stayed over Tuesday night. It was definitely a little eerie having such a quiet floor. Nevertheless, I survived until morning when I had to rise early in order to arrive promptly in Chinatown to take a bus back to Philadelphia. I learned then that traveling the day before Thanksgiving is always a good idea. The bus ride to Philly took 5 hours due to incredible traffic, twice the normal length! The bus dropped me off at Market East train station where I usually take the regional line back to my town. Wednesday, however, my dad was in the city for business and decided to pick me up. The ride home by car is usually twenty minutes, Wednesday's was an hour.

Nevertheless, the wait only added to the eventual satisfaction that only coming home can bring. My dad and I picked up cheese steaks and we, joined by my mom, had a nice meal together heavy with conversation. Though I had been home already this year, coming back for a holiday and for an extended period time produces a much greater dynamic. I enjoyed the bustle that only a holiday can bring: the cooking, shopping, eating, and visiting of friends and family. After dinner, I was picked up by a few of my best friends. I left through the garage and the headlights which blinded me only made me recall old memories together. We united once more and attended a hockey game between our high school and its rival. The game is a tradition. College kids always come back for it, joined by the current high schoolers. It was a sweet reunion filled with hugs and stories, an appropriate welcome back after so much time spent apart. The rest of the weekend was spent with my closest friends and my family.

At home, I realized that I definitely do, after three months, have a part of myself at AU. At home, I really did miss seeing the faces I've come to know well and sleeping in the bed I've become so used to. Thanksgiving break was wonderful, but it was almost a tease. I felt like I'd never been gone but, like that, I was.

Reflection

2009-11-29T14:49:00.000-08:00

I have to say, it was really nice to be home. To have my mom cook me food that actually tasted something and the be able to go sleep in my bed was amazing! It was weird, though. It is almost as though time stopped at home. When I got home, other than the fact that we got a dog that no one told me about (he's so cute, but his name is Nelson which is kind of a drawback), everything was the same. I found myself wondering when I would be going back to school and not thinking about my classes here, but thinking about my high school. It was a very strange situation. I fell back into my old routines with my little brothers and my sister.

I guess that is one of the things about family. No matter how annoying they may be, and no matter how many times I think that I never want to see them again, they are people who you can be completely comfortable with. I don't have to keep a front up around them or act like someone else. I can act however I want to and I can be completely sure that, even though they probably don't like me a lot of the time, my family loves me and will always be there for me. I guess that is what I learned during this break. No matter how many things change in my life, I can always go home and do the same old stuff.

Reflection 11.29.2009

2009-11-29T14:03:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving was a much needed break!!!! No school, family, food, and fun. It was a great break. I actually stayed here for thanksgiving because my uncle lives in dc. I went over to his house for the weekend and enjoyed the time with my family. On Friday, my uncle rented a bus for the entire family to go see the monuments. It was very cool to see all the monuments back to back. I’ve been to most of them before, but it was fun to go with my grandparents who remembered most of the events that the monuments were depicting. It was interesting to hear them reflect and recall moments about their childhood and young adult years. For my little cousins we stopped by the White House, since that was the only building they knew about and cared to see. It was actually my first time to the White House, I have driven by it before, but it was my first time actually walking up to the front gate and actually getting a good view. It was actually perfect timing, because the White House Christmas tree was being delivered. It was pulled up to the front door by a house drawn carriage, it was so pretty, like a timeless picture. The man in the carriage was wearing a top hat, so it was very cool thing to see. It was a lovely time with my cousins and other family members. The Christmas Tree being delivered reminded me of how soon the semester is going to be over. It is amazing to think that I have already finished one half of my freshman year. I can’t believe it! It has gone by so fast, and I have had such a great time, but honestly I cannot wait to finish the semester and go home for a whole month!!!!

Will to Survive

2009-11-26T00:09:00.001-08:00

Whether military preparedness is a key concern for the sake of a community's longevity depends greatly on what type of community is being expressed. A country, for instance, has the greatest military capability of any type of community. The sole purpose of a formidable national military is to help ensure the nation's survival. It would appear quite obvious, then, that in order to continue a nation's existence, a strong army, navy, and air force would prove essential. In many cases this is true, however, there are exceptions. Many wars wage today, and countless others have in the past. However, based on a country's values many nations are able to avoid war almost completely.

Countries such as New Zealand, Denmark, and Norway are able to avoid war. As a result they are able to focus funds and resources of non-military programs. Peaceful countries benefit from low unemployment rates, successful educational systems, and low crime rates. When times are sound in relations with nations abroad, times are typically sound internally as well. So where do values come into play? Wars, like those in the Middle East, are fought on the basis of many different values. Religion is the major value at stake in the Arab-Israeli conflict. Governmental values such as political ideologies and leanings are key factors in the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Social inequalities and injustices are values that create animosity between conservative nations like Saudi Arabia, Iran, and Pakistan with more liberal ones liek the United States.

But those peaceful nations are able to avoid conflicts like these. War can be eliminated when values are controlled, when a nation's beliefs remain internal and are unable to affect international relations. Military is the primary concern for Norway. The nation is successful in keeping her nose out of affairs that do not pertain to her well being. Unlike Israel, Norway's military is not a priority. Though survival is indefinitely the ultimate goal of Norway, she is an example that proves survival is possible through non-combatant means.

Blog Question: 11.26.2009

2009-11-25T23:57:00.000-08:00

Sadly, I believe that Heinlein is completely correct in the claim that he makes. Everything is about survival; our culture obsesses over living longer, protecting our country, and saving our earth. Our media is filled with diet advertisements and "going green" promotions, the claim being that these things will help us survive. Political leaders obsess over safety regulations and protection plans "just in case"... so it is safe to say that we are all about survival. For that reason war and the preparation for war can never be eliminated. Those two things protect us from the worse. It helps us survive against terrorist and threats known and unknown. That is the sterotypical that I sort of believe in. Without being prepared for war, a country opens their self to being taken advantage of. I think that the necessity to survive requires a properly prepared military to be a high priority among the community, because with the military, common people would have to fight and they are just not equipped for that. If I had to protect myself, I would freak out. The military is a comfort and without it, I'm sure I would not be the only one freaking out.

The Necessity of Military

2009-11-25T12:17:00.000-08:00

Ideally a community would never need a military. Everyone would live in peace at all times and war would be eliminated. This, of course, would be the way it was in a perfect world. If the world was perfect, every country would have no military. Unfortunately, it is not a perfect world and in order for a country to survive, it must have a military. As soon as one country has the ability to take over another through violence, every other country must make sure it has the ability to defend itself. Right now, a community can have everything. It can be full of individuals who support and love their country. It can have wealth and access to everything it needs it support its people, but that does not protect it from the actions of other countries.

Because of this, it is obvious that a military is a very important part of any country, but it is also seems as though Heinlein thinks that the military should be used. He holds the military in very high regard and although I believe that military is important it should not be the most important part of the country. It should be made to be good enough so the country can defend itself against potential threats but there should be more important aspects of the country. I think it is more important that the people of the country have good lives. If this means the military must be the most important part and most developed part of the country then it must be that way.

Response on Military

2009-11-25T08:09:00.000-08:00

For any sort of community to survive, it needs a mechanism of defense against harm. Whether it is an army defending a country, or a police force defending a neighborhood, it would be difficult for a community to thrive if it had no way to prevent damage. A community may have a strong structure, it members completely united in purpose, and its powers to complete that purpose strong, but if it is unable to defend itself against any form of attack, it will quickly find itself destroyed.
Think of a person holding a weapon: a knight with a sword, a man with a gun, or even a jedi with a light saber. They are a united body (quite literally in this metaphor) with a single purpose, and a power to enforce that purpose. But if they don't have armor or bullet proof vests, they have little chance of survival in combat. A strongly-united community is much the same if they do not have a means of defense.
A country without a military would come to a similar fate. It has a government, a set of laws, a culture, and a people, but if there is no military, than another country can sweep in at any time they wish to destroy it.
That said, a military is not the only single thing that guarantees the survival of a community. It needs a strong structure and citizens dedicated to maintaining it. Without these, there would be no community to defend. If the citizens are unsatisfied with their community, there is no need to have a military to defend the community. It is interesting to note that many of the famous revolutions of history involve a dissolution and later reorganization of their country's military, including the French and Russian. Military and society are tied together- if one falls, so will the other.

Reflection 2.23.2009

2009-11-23T11:44:00.000-08:00

Our lab this week, involved going to the National Museum of the American Indian. Honestly, it was a lot different than I expected. I expected this museum full of the same old artifacts and for it to be a relatively boring trip. While it was not my favorite trip thus far, it was far from boring. It was set up in such a way that it tied in the past and the present. I really enjoyed the modern take of tradition aspects of the Native American symbols such as a totem pole. The totem pole was built out of golf bags, which I thought was so good, I enjoyed that exhibit more than the traditional artifacts. As I was waiting for the time at the museum to finish, I went, along with other people from explorations, into one of the theaters that was playing a movie. It was about a boy, trying to understand the traditional ways that his parents wanted him to respect, while he struggled with the outside world. It was an interesting presentation, that I'm sure for some people is very realistic. The entire museum was different - in a good way. I just wonder what actual Native Americans think of the museum. Personally, I think it provides a good representation, but I'm technically an outsider looking in....what do they think?
This weekend I went to go see the newest movie in the Twilight series called New Moon. First as a girl, I just have to say that it was amazing! I love the movie, but its funny to see people in the theater screaming over the characters such as Edward, Bella, and Jacob. When an intense part comes the crowd is responding at the edge of their seat, waiting for the next twist in the plot. The audience in completely engaged in what is going in the movie. In a normal movie, people just sit back and watch, but people actually used energy to engage themselves in this movie. After this movie, I was thinking about, what makes something a trend. Why is something so popular? What makes Twilight so popular? Is it because Jacob and Edward are very attractive characters on screen or does it simply hold the classic fairytale perspective that people are always trying to live. Is it an ideal world? For me personally, a world full of vampires, is not ideal, but maybe it is for others. It is just interesting to see this world wide obsession, yet no one knows exactly - "why" it is so popular.
On another note, I'm so excited for Thanksgiving. I cannot wait for the turkey and family. I have missed home more than I thought. Sadly, I am not going home, but I am spending Thanksgiving at my uncle's house in DC with my mother's family. I cannot believe the semester is almost over!!! I hope everyone has a good break and a safe trip wherever they are going!!! Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

11.22.09 Reflection

2009-11-22T20:00:00.000-08:00

This past week has proved to be one of the most academically challenging ones for me so far at American. I assume professors are trying to get in as much possible before Thanksgiving and they're doing quite a fine job. However, the week has passed and now I am able to examine it.

I particularly enjoyed our Wednesday visit to the National Museum of the American Indian. It was definitely one of my favorite Wednesday labs. Native American history is a topic that really has remained absent in most of my schooling. Except in third grade and in passing during American History, we never learned much. As a result the museum was definitely an eye opener. One of the first things that shocked me about the place was its peculiar but inviting design. It reminded me of a modern pueblo. The crops grown outside the buildings as well as the tipis quickly inform casual the passerby what kind of building they approach. Another surprising tidbit I quickly learned was that despite it's opening in 2004, it is the first museum entirely dedicated to the American Indian.

The interior of the museum was something. After passing through the metal detectors, visitors feels tiny in the great chamber they find themselves in. Circular design definitely plays a great role outside and in. Circularity, I determined after exploring the museum, played a great role in Native American architecture and design. Also, angular shapes were somewhat scarce comparatively.

The content of the museum was informative, but because of the museum's modernity it was successfully able to hold the visitor's attention. Thousands of artifacts are on display in the museum, including arrowheads, jewelry and dolls. Each small exhibit contains descriptions of what is display with information like history and location. I found these greatly enjoyable. However, maybe my favorite part of our trip was in watching about twenty minutes of a film played in the museum's theater. Since we had some time to kill before lunch, a few of us meandered into the theater that was already playing a movie. It was a film of identity: the conflict between a modern American Indian's duty to his people and past and clash which arises in the present. Symbolism was evident in what we witnessed through a recurring crow and the vast expanses of desert. Even though we only caught a glimpse of the movie, it was enough to stir emotions, respect and pity were the greatest I felt. These were also the emotions I felt from the museum as a whole. The history of the American Indian is incredibly tragic, it is impossible not to pity, and it is impossible not to respect a people whose will to survive still lasts today.

Reflection

2009-11-22T16:24:00.000-08:00

Wow! I can't believe how quickly Thanksgiving has come. I feel like I just got here a couple of weeks ago. It is very strange for me to be thinking about going home because I have not been home since I got here. I feel like when I go back home nothing is going to have changed. I feel like time should have stopped, but clearly this is not going to the case. It is going to be so strange to see that things have kept moving at home even though I am not there.

Well, anyway, I guess because it is approaching Thanksgiving it was somewhat appropriate that we visited the National Museum of the American Indian this week. I was actually pretty excited to go to the museum this week. I had heard from several people that it was a pretty cool museum and I had been interested in going to it for a while. When we first arrived, I found the design of the museum to be very interesting. It almost looked like something that belonged in a desert somewhere in the west and not in the middle of DC. The inside of the museum was pretty unique as well. I really enjoyed the section that displayed the artwork of Brian Jungen. I found it very interesting to see stereotypical Native American things made out of modern day things. Now that I have written that out, it seems slightly offensive. I know that there are plenty of Native Americans who are active members of society today, but for some reason, whenever someone says something about American Indians I automatically think of Pocahontas and Crazy Horse. I guess a lot of people have this conception as well because I noticed that much of the museum focused on modern day American Indians. I guess for Thanksgiving this year I should think about these modern day people and not just the people who lived years and years ago.

Bonus Question

2009-11-22T14:04:00.000-08:00

In my opinion I believe that they values of the American Indian are expressed in the National Museum. While it may be a reformed view or even a censored representation of their values, their ideals and traditions are still represented within the museum. Everything about their culture is represented in a respectful nature and I'm sure in an approved setting. You walk around and the entire building is set up in such a way that their culture is continuously expressed and their values are shown through the displays and other exhibits. While clearly it is a reformed view, because of time and the fact that it is a "National" museum, so things are probably not as raw as some Native Americans may want it, there is a good representation given. Remembrance is a key part of the museums layout and how the artifacts are presented. When you walk in, it is clear that it is a place to remember and acknowledge a race of people. The artifacts are very spread out. It is not an overcrowded museum and everything is very, almost, sacred. The artifacts are in drawers or in cases and everything is very professional, even more so than other museums. I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but as soon as I walked in, I knew I walked into an place, that needed to be respected.

Reflection on the upcoming Thanksgiving break

2009-11-22T10:16:00.000-08:00

As I finish up my homework for this week and read up on my assignments, I think of the coming week of rest and relaxation. And food. Lots and lots of food. Though I would much rather stay at home and meet up with friends I haven't seen in three months, I recently learned that I would be going on a little journey to the middle of nowhere for most of my vacation.
As soon as I get home, my family is heading up to my grandparents, who live in an economically-depressed former immigrant mining town in the Appalachian Mountains in Pennsylvania called Summit Hill. Almost every one in ten residents lives below the poverty line. Unlike my hometown of Bowie, where half of the population are minorities, Summit Hill is almost 100% white. While Bowie is largely culturally integrated, Summit Hill is still divided by ethnicity. The Irish, the Polish, the Welsh, the Italians, the Hungarians, and the Czechs still worship in their own churches, hang out in their own bars, and are buried in their own cemeteries.
In places like Summit Hill, the culture has not changed much since the 19th century. Although the ethnic groups do not fight as they did back then (my grandfather held a dislike for the Irish after an Irishman stole his wages in the 40s), one stills views the others are foreigners, even if they have been living in the country for over a century. If you are not even from Summit Hill, you are easily spotted from your lack of an accent, and viewed in much the same way as a Southerner would view a Yankee. They are highly traditional and highly religious people- Summit Hill, according to Ripley's Believe It or Not, is the only town with a block that has a church on each corner.
Somethings, however, did change with time. With the closing of the mines around the end of the century, job opportunities in the area are becoming increasingly scarce. There is a palpable dissatisfaction that one can feel in the air while walking or driving though the town. Visiting the town this summer, one could especially sense a feeling of bitterness after Obama's election in this extremely conservative town. For the first time in my life, I saw a Neo-Nazi flag displayed publicly on a resident's front porch. It was an extremely frightening experience for a Jewish girl who associates the town with the warmth and love of her grandparents.
Ultimately, I love going up to Summit Hill. I love seeing my grandparents, who I only get to see two or three times each year. I love to sit on their front porch and read as the townspeople walk slowly by. I love to walk through the surrounding forests and mountains. Every time I visit, I learn something new: about my father, about my family, and about the town that made them. When I return to Bowie (or in this case, AU) I always end up learning about myself in the contrasts.

Reflection 11.21.2009

2009-11-21T09:25:00.000-08:00

With thanksgiving fast approaching and the smell of turkey in the air, it is time for another reflection which will tie into the bonus question too:

When we went to the Native American Museum, I enjoyed seeing that culture. It is a very serene with their dependance on the land and their togetherness with nature. As much as it is a culture that is very private and one that I obviously don't belong to, I can't help but want to belong to it...it's seems so idealistic and simple.

Some people and me watched movie that was called "1000 different paths" or something. It documented the different lives and journeys of different native americans, both in the "modern" world and in their own tribes, showing how they live. There was a story of healer, a medicine man, who tried to cure a little boy, but unfortunately, the boy died. There was a business women living in the hustle and bustle of the city but still kept true to her roots.

The film was clearly meant to show how we are all human, just making our way through life, whatever cultural background we come from. There is a sense of othering, but I felt it was more the audience that was made to feel like an outsider, than the thousands of journeys taken by native americans. It made me wish I could be part of that culture...and the film was saying "ha! You can't!!" at the same time that it was celebrating the unique lives of these people.

The other thing that very much hit me was a small walkway into one of the exhibitions, that projected people along side you on either side ... it took me a while to work out what was going out. When I finally decided to read the caption, it said "You never know when you could be walking along side a native american", showing that they aren't this "other" people, they are integrated with every other culture despite the contradictory separation. The native american museum, is one of two more distinct cultural museums in DC that are on the Mall. The other is the Holocaust museum. (The African-American museum in Anacostia is obviously other one but it's not on the mall, and it's small and relatively unknown). It is interesting that at the same time the museum tries to celebrate the culture, but at the same time can't help but set it apart.

I enjoyed the museum overall and was sad that the food was so expensive - but it definitely did give me a new appreciation for the culture

Question 11.18.2009

2009-11-18T23:45:00.000-08:00

The quote presented about violence being the way to solve problems is something I believe to be true to a certain extent. Wars solve the problems even if it is not the most humanitarian approach. Let's be honest, when have peace treaties ever completely solved an issue. While they will put the issue at rest temporarily, they do not stop that problem from becoming a bigger issue. War's finish things because death resulting from wars are so finite. It is the end. The atomic bomb ended World War II, it left a lasting impact that Hiroshima is still trying to recover from today. That act of violence ended any further attacks because it let the world know that this problem had gone on long enough. There has not been another world war since clearly proving that that amount of violence works. It finished off those particular set of issues. Granted the world will never be perfect, but every issue solved helps. For instance, while the Emancipation Proclamation allowed slaves to be freed, it was not until the Civil War that slaves were actually freed. That proclamation was simply used as a political move to help the Union gain more power through the assistance of the British. More power lead to more violence leading o the solution of that problem. The real question to ask is why can human kind not solve anything without violence?

11.18.09 A New Alternative

2009-11-18T20:28:00.000-08:00

Throughout the history of mankind and its civilizations, war has undoubtedly been the leading means to end disputes. It is impossible to deny the claim. War has existed as long as cultures have clashed. From tribes of cavemen to tribes of Native Americans, from the Greeks to the Goths, wars have always emerged. It is not a question of human nature, it is simply the way things have been. Man versus man has always been the way to determine who is the stronger power, to settle issues. In most cases diplomacy only really is effective after a war has been fought. I do, however, believe times finally may be changing.

I think that with the prevalence of nuclear weapons, warfare in general will gradually come to a halt, at least for the most part. Has it not already? Though conflicts do exist of course, we no longer fight wars with sheer force. World War II and Vietnam type strategies are no longer applicable with the rise of technology. Instead, warfare has changed completely so now that remote controlled weaponry and robots can now fight instead of humans. Of course, this certainly is still warfare and directly applies to the Heinlein's quote, however the trend is shifting towards more peaceful means. Nations now realize that one step out of line means potential nuclear war to end all life on the planet. This tense situation is reassuring. Nations will be hesitant to make drastic moves since extinction is always a possible consequence. As countries began to realize this, warfare decreased.

I also believe that warfare will decrease as more and more women enter politics and the government. Until the only recent past, women had absolutely no say in how countries should be run. The male dominated governments only reflect half of their respective populations. With a more sexually balanced government, decision making will shift. Though maybe not scientifically proven, I think women provide a more humanistic and emotional approach which should limit rash decisions leading to war.

Is Violence the answer?

2009-11-18T19:51:00.001-08:00

I am sure everybody has been told at one point or another that violence is not the answer. That is what almost everyone is taught at some point in their life. Despite what we are taught, no one ever seems to mention the effectiveness of violence. We all know that it is not good. We all know we are not supposed to use violence, but when it really comes down to it, violence does work. You can spend hours and hours trying to convince someone to do something verbally, but at any point they can change their mind and back out. When violence is involved, it usually only takes a few seconds to get a person to do what you want them to. This is probably one of the reasons that there are so many wars. Diplomats and leaders can talk to each others forever and there is still a strong possibility that they will not agree on anything. Instead, if violence is involved, things get done much more quickly.

I know this would be an appropriate time to rattle off a list of examples when violence has more efficiently than words alone, but unfortunately, I really cannot name any and it is clear that other people here have a much greater knowledge of these things than I do. For my part, all I can really say is that in an ideal world, violence would never, ever be the answer, but unfortunately, in the world we live violence works. It gets things done and changes things more quickly than anything else in the world. So it is a fact that violence has probably settled more issues in our history than anything else. Violence makes sure that one person gets there way and that the others do not. At the end of the day, it is not the right thing to do, but it is clearly very effective.

War and Peace - abridged

2009-11-17T13:10:00.000-08:00

"Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedom"

I'm really sorry for being pessimistic, but I do agree with this quote. I don't know when or why, but sometime in my 18 years, I realized that humans are not a inherently nice race. Granted, there are individuals who are good and make huge contributions to society, but when it comes to International relations and cooperation on a systemic level, I lean towards a realist perspective. How can I not when my entire continent's history has been defined by fall of empire after fall of empire and war after war? I can't even name all the wars that Europe has seen since the fall of the Roman Empire...too many. There are several things I want to talk about here, both to support and oppose the quote.

Firstly, violence has been a very big part of the world's culture since the dawn of time. It is man's natural tendency to be aggressive and defend his territory. From this aspect, I agree with the quote: war is a natural part of our world, however unfortunate that may be, but i think it is effective, especially in terms of defense. Focusing on some good wars, like we were talking about in class today, World War II certainly concluded with the majority of the Western World agreeing that "it was worth it". And to think about the consequences had we not fought or won WWII are horrible to think about. Everyone would be horribly oppressed and discriminated against.

To counter this, it is necessary to look at how war has actually made problems too. Even just looking at World War I, poor facilitation after the war ultimately lead to WWII... that certainly shows a case when war is maybe not the most permanent and final acts to secure peace. So it may have settled a specific dispute, but that doesn't mean that new ones haven't arisen and caused even more problems. Definitely, as the world develops more and more, there are actually some influential factors in the world that are not violent in any way. Looking back, there has been Ghandi and the Dalai Lama, neither of whom believe in violence as being the answer. These figures have also been able to get such a huge following internationally, which speaks to the fact that they aren't just two people trying to make a difference: they are making a difference. So violence isn't always the only answer, there are other ways in which problems and disputes can be solved especially in today's society where violence is continually becoming the last option in the minds of the public purely because of the damage it can do.

Which leads into the last part of the quote. Sometimes peoples are forced to violence because of oppressive governments and the likes. The hope for a better tomorrow, without violence, such as preached by Ghandi is not completely unreasonable, especially as I already said that society is moving in a direction of wanting more peace. Furthermore, even in times of war, people lose their freedoms and most definitely their lives. 9/11: the patriot act... complete loss of freedom as the government monitored people's every move. Then soldiers were sent to Iraq to defend the nation, and they lost their lives. During times of violence and war, people are just as likely to pay dearly as they are during times Mr Dubois may think of as blissful ignorance and peace, when nations are potentially vulnerable to threats.

When push comes to shove, sometimes violence is, though the last resort, the best method to keep and gain peace, but that doesn't mean a passive attitude and "wishful thinking" are any less importance or power. I'm on the fence. I understand what Mr Dubois is saying, he just needs to be less condescending and prehaps less pessimistic about society.

Reflection 11.16.2009

2009-11-16T07:09:00.001-08:00

The trip to Arlington Cemetery was one of the hardest “field trips” I have ever been on. I have been to over 13 funerals and I have never been so bothered. The entire day was just naturally depressing because it was Veteran’s Day and it was a dreary day. What really hit me though were the rows and rows of graves stretched out over the entire area. It was the most peaceful burial sites I have ever seen.
Looking at JFK’s grave does not raise any emotions. It is set up as more of a fancy memorial for a president. It is not until I ventured out into the yard and looked at some of the other graves that it hit me. Some of these people were my age. Many were the age of my sister and her friends. I looked at the year they died and it said 2006 meaning it was from the War in Iraq. For the first time the war became real to me. Those kids should be hanging out, getting married, and enjoying summers on a beach, but they are not… Because the war is fought over seas, it seemed surreal to me. I know people are dying, but until I saw those graves, I did not realize how “real” it all was. The hardest part was to see the grave of a fallen soldier from Iraq with flowers and notes reading, “I love you daddy”. I did not realize how big their sacrifice was until I saw the worst possible result.

11.15.09 Reflection

2009-11-16T01:28:00.000-08:00

Visiting Arlington Cemetery on Wednesday was by far my favorite University College lab this first semester. I had never been to the cemetery before, nor had I ever been to a cemetery in commemoration at all. As a result I was surprisingly blown away by Veterans' Day at Arlington. The first thing that truly caught my eye was the sheer enormity of the cemetery itself. It seemed as if the pale gravestones actually expanded across the entirety of all visible land. An incredible sight. Arlington Cemetery's design is perfect. It is simple, tasteful, and respectful. Since so many graves are identical, the cemetery is able to successfully to identify it's inhabitants as equals, an interesting and important aspect. Gorgeous trees mark the landscape with winding paths carved throughout.

It was refreshing to witness so many people grateful for our nation's soldiers. We witnessed thousands of veterans, family members, friends, students, tourists, and those with no ties to those buried in the cemetery except respect. Tears were shed by some and smiles were worn by others but everyone had something in common: appreciation for those who sacrificed. To join the military is a heroic action that I feel appeals to many people at some in life. To understand that you are a smaller part of a greater mechanism is a frightening, but humbling realization. Those in the military know that for people to continue their small, but meaningful roles in life, action must always be taken to ensure freedom exists. That is where soldiers step in. Without a military of loyal, driven soldiers a nation's people would have a different role: slave. Only one day a year is dedicated to our soldiers, but our thoughts are always with them. For myself at least, I also nod or acknowledge those in uniform whenever I may see one, making sure to lock eyes. They nod or acknowledge me back.

I will most likely never be buried in Arlington. Chances are I will never fire a gun or ride in a tank. For that reason we must thank our soldiers. I don't want to have to fire a gun. Brave men and women step up for that position realizing what is at stake: the greatest sacrifice, their own lives. At Arlington Cemetery I realized a few things, learned some others and was entirely moved. It was an enlightening day and I will return. It will be interesting to compare a typical day at Arlington versus Veterans' Day.

Reflections: 15th November 2009

2009-11-15T19:08:00.000-08:00

I LOVE living in DC!!! At Arlington Cemetery, I saw the presidential motorcade not once but TWICE! how cool and amazing! Arlington Cemetery is a place I have been to many times before, and it felt especially fitting that it was rainy and wet when we visited there on Veteran's Day. We are celebrating fallen soldiers from so many different wars. I happened to walk by a Vietnam section and that was bizarre because their dates made the majority of them only a little bit older than me. And there are SO many graves there! More than that, I think there were at least three people in our class who knew or had a relation buried there. That's quite astonishing really and goes to show the grandeur of the entire thing and just how many people war affects.

In today's society - as we were talking about in class - we honor those who have fallen. It's not necessarily for any religious reasons, it's more so that the lives lived by the deceased person was not in vein. They are celebrated and "go out with a final bang" ..if you're lucky enough, that can literally be the case with military salutes.

Switching gears, I went home this weekend at it was so strange to come back ..both going to NYC and coming back to DC... they are both my alternate realities, both are so normal and have their routines. When I go to NYC, DC doesn't exist and vis versa. it's very strange. I wonder if everyone feels that way when they go home, or for some people do the two converge...neither is probably better than the other and in fact I like my two separate lives: one where I am independent (ish) and the other where i can get looked after and sort of be a kid, but still with all the plus sides of being 18! I don't know, it was very wierd to get on the train Friday and again today, and basically coming full circle twice. I came and went home twice. DC is my home. NJ is my home. Home is where the heart is?

reflection 11/14

2009-11-14T18:02:00.000-08:00

Wow, I know I have probably said this about fifteen times, but I cannot believe how quickly time is passing here! Anyway, this week, our visit to Arlington was a very interesting experience for me. When I heard that we were going to visit the cemetery, I had mixed feelings. I think that Arlington is a very interesting and unique place. I have visited several times because my grandmother was buried there when I was very young, but my hesitation about visiting did not come from this. Unfortunately, this trip was the first one that I have made to Arlington since my grandfather's funeral at Arlington last march. Needless to say, it was a slightly strange experience. This was the first time I saw his headstone up, and for some reason, something about that really hit me. It definitely made his death more concrete and was a pretty strange experience.

Despite this, I think Arlington is a very interesting place to visit. Of course the attractions like the tomb of the unknown soldier and JFK's burial site are always cool to see, but for me, the most moving part of the entire experience is looking out at all the headstones. Looking out across the headstones, especially in the areas where they are all aligned and homogeneous is crazy. It is hard to think that so many people have died after taking some part protecting and serving our country. It was also upsetting to see the headstones from some of the more recent burials. While making the trek to my grandfather's grave, I walked through some other headstone and I noticed some of the dates on them. Some of them had birth dates from 1987 or 1986. Seeing these headstones was one of the most upsetting experience of the entire visit. It was very disturbing for me to think about the fact that people who are only a few years older than me have lost their lives in such a brave and honorable way. I am very glad that there is a day to honor these people because I think that it is definitely deserved.

Veterans Day

2009-11-11T11:13:00.000-08:00

Having come back from Arlington National Cemetery on this Veteran's Day, I've come to realize just how genuine some fronts can be. We walked out of the Cemetery Metro stop with the cold rain beating down on our heads. On a day where families from around the country come to pay respect to their fallen loved ones, you would think the weather would give the visitors to the cemetery a break today- but that's how things work. As we began to walk through the cemetery, it was easy to note that there was an unusually small amount of people visiting today for such a holiday that is intimately connected to the site. Of course the rain acted as a deterrent, but it was still a bit depressing to see such a small turnout on a day when the country comes together to mourn our collective war dead. I was also shocked to find few genuine tourists, visitors who came because one "had to" when visiting DC, just like visitors to Paris "have to" see the Eiffel Tower.
The visitors that did come, however, were not just there to gawk at fancy tombstones. Many wore the traditional poppy on their jackets, and some wore the jackets and caps of their or their fallen relative's unit. The most genuine displays of honor and grief came from those there to visit their actual relatives. They never seemed to cry, but just stared, as if their gaze could resurrect their loved one. They were not there to perform an act of patriotism as some of the other visitors were, but genuinely sought to honor their loved ones. Viewing such honest acts of grief makes one appreciate human resilience to complete what for some are simply acts of maintaining front, but for others are acts of honor or love.

11.8.09 Reflection

2009-11-08T14:33:00.000-08:00

Time has been flying along here at American. It is incredibly difficult to believe that we have been here almost three months. It is also hard to believe that the end of the semester is approaching and it is now time to pick classes for the second semester.

The scheduling of second semester classes has been looming for awhile now, and, surprise surprise, until last week I have not given it too much thought. My goal, however, is to have a schedule very different from my first semester. Like pretty much all other freshmen, it was rather difficult to have a very personalized schedule. My goal is pick classes that truly interest me, which I suppose is the goal of any student. But this is a big deal. I wasn't entirely happy with my courses this semester, to say the least, and I really want this second semester to be great. Unfortunately, I will most likely take math. I plan on dropping French and with the conclusion of UC: Explorations I will have much more room to test the waters of different classes. I plan on taking a phys ed class because I have become a bit too lethargic. I also want to explore some anthropology, psychology, sociology, and creative arts classes. Basically, I want to diversify as much as possible. I want this semester to be as successful as it can be, and I think through taking a great variety of interesting classes this can be accomplished.

Also, I had a rather uneventful weekend. I did a fair amount of work and hung out with some friends, but nothing too out of the ordinary. It's nice to have a very relaxing weekend every so often.

Reflection

2009-11-07T17:33:00.000-08:00

I do not really have anything to reflect on this week/weekend. I’m just doing my work, revising my ethnography and enjoying the weekend. After Wednesday’s lab, I decided that I am a visual learner. I read Antigone for the first time this year, and while I understood it – it helped a lot to see some scenes acted out. There is something about seeing normal people speaking the words that helps everything click together better. I did comprehend everything I read, but with the writing style of Antigone causes me to have to re read lines in order to capture the full impact of what is being said. I really enjoyed Wednesday lab – it was enjoyable to get a taste of the acting department, though I can pretty much guarantee that I will never take an acting class or participate in anything acting wise. I thought it was interesting to bring Explorations into this acting environment. While watching my classmates, I really saw how some people were very comfortable and others were a little apprehensive about the possibility of participating. Thankfully, we only have to recite a few chorus lines as a group!

Reflection

2009-11-07T16:11:00.000-08:00

Wow! I can't believe we have all been in college for almost three months! It is crazy. I feel like I just got here. It is crazy to think about all of the stuff I have learned without even thinking about it. Now, down to the business of this reflection. For some reason, this week, the lab stuck in my mind. I did find the performances very interesting, but they were not necessarily what stuck with me. Instead for some reason I have been thinking about acting. I have never been comfortable with acting. I tense up and feel incredibly nervous. I don't know why this happens to me when I try to act, but it always does. Looking around the room, it was clear that some people felt the same way as me. I could see the look of fear and disgust in their eyes that was probably present in my eyes as well. But, surprisingly enough, as a I looked around I also saw another look. A look of happiness and enjoyment. This got me to thinking, what is it that makes some people comfortable with acting and others hate it?

This may be a stretch but maybe all of this has something to do with identity. We all act most of the time. This type of everyday acting comes as easily to me as it does to everybody else, but why is it that when I am told to act so everybody can observe, I just cannot do it? I think this may be a result of me not wanting my everyday acting to be caught. Maybe people who are natural actors and have no qualms about going on stage are the types of people who are readily able to admit that acting occurs all the time and we should embrace it, not hide it. I do not know if this will make any sense to anybody else, but maybe someone else out there can figure out what I am trying to say.

Reflecting Time

2009-11-07T10:13:00.000-08:00

Hmm let's see... what shall I reflect on this week?

It's so strange that we really like no have time left this semester, very wierd, though I am ready for some of my classes to finish and am excited to pick new ones. One huge difference between college and high school is that in college, the weeks go by super fast, whereas in high school they dragged on and on and on... even though looking back I can't believe it's been over a year since I submitted my first application.. And all these tour groups going round make it feel even wierder.

Last night, I went to the concert in the Tavern and it was awesome! The Rocket Summer is band I used to love so it very nostalgic to see them live, playing some of the songs I used to listen to when I was maybe 15. And I found a new band to like: Forever the Sickest Kids. In fact, the idea concert was the kind of music I used to be obsessed with back in the day! I would have killed to go to concerts like that when I was younger, but a) I didn't have much money and b) a lot of the concerts always ended up being 18 and over which was upsetting because there is no way I could have passed off as 18 ...and I still probably couldn't haha.

Anyway life is good and I got to see the Rocket Summer, Hanson, Matt and Kim play for free...thanks AU!!!

11.5.09 Remember Remember the fifth of November...

2009-11-05T01:20:00.001-08:00

Wahoo! Guy Fawkes Day!
Anyways, I mostly do agree that in analyzing how a society deals with wealth and poverty directly correlates with a nation's health, and from there, happiness. Though there are many conflicting reports about the happiest nations in the world, the majority of nations which that are wealthy consistently find themselves higher on the happiness scale. There are, of course, exceptions. For example CNN describes Costa Rica as the happiest nation in the world, followed by Dominican Republic, Jamaica, Guatemala and Vietnam. This came as a great shock to me, but most other sources I used found contradictory results.

When nations are wealthy, standard of living typically is high. Remember, I said I mostly agree with the original statement. There are always exceptions. A nation's education system, employment rate, law enforcement effectiveness, and social equalities are examples of important factors which greatly contribute to a nation's standard of living. Typically, these can be achieved with a strong financial backing. When nations have the ability to better these areas, progress can be made, in turn leading to inevitable happiness. Northern European countries often find themselves at the top of the happiness indexes due some of the aforementioned factors. Despite having the world's highest taxes in many areas, Denmark is usually listed as the happiest country. Why? Because these taxes go back to benefit the people. When a country gets it's priorities straight, the people benefit and the country is healthier.

November 3, 2009

2009-11-05T00:16:00.000-08:00

I would just like to start this blog by saying the YANKEES WON!!! It was an amazing game…
I do not think it is appropriate to judge a society based on wealth and poverty. Sadly, it is the most important feature. Wealth and poverty are such shallow features of the bigger picture. While it does hold a lot of ground, judging an area strictly based on that causes people to over look other positive things that community may have to offer. Situations get tricky when referring to money. It is the cornerstone of our networking and how we build the world around us. Immediately we look at that aspect. Without wealth, it is hard for social arrangements to run and with a lot of poverty, those arrangements begin to look inefficient and for lack of a better word bad. In terms of a community, that communities imagine is based on their wealth and poverty. For example, Africa, yes while this example is used a lot it is very applicable. That country has a large poverty population and because of that, the country is represented in such a way where that aspect becomes the focus. America is one of the “wealthier” nations in the country and because of that it is seen as a land of opportunities.

Wealth and Health

2009-11-04T18:27:00.000-08:00

I think the health of a community can be measured pretty well by the wealth of it. If there is a lot of poverty, not only do you instinctually view the community as a "worse" community, but there is some quantitative reasoning behind that too. Firstly, wealth within a community yields a good economy and standard of living is automatically higher because there is more competition in the market and more availability of higher priced items. It naturally follows that then the house prices are higher, so the people living there tend to have a better income and aren't going to become robbers or steal anything.

In poorer neighbourhoods, there is much more want of things that tend to be lacking in a community, leading to more theft and an overall lower standard of living.

I despise that this is the reality of it, but it's true. Wealthier communities are healthier, moreover they are safer.

The question that stems from this question, is to do with how you interpret healthiness within a community. Is it literal health (obviously no), healthy relationships formed between members of the community? If it is this, then no, there is absolutely no indication of this type of health in relation to wealth. People can be bad or good, and that has no correlation to how much money they have: there are bad eggs in every the socioeconomic class.

If people have good relationships with each other, like neighbourhood watch programs, that's definitely a way in which the society is healthy.

Does healthy mean safety? That's how I interpreted it, indirectly. As I explained, having a good economy and wealth drives up the standard of living which allows people to live well.

I think that healthy as taken to mean safe makes a little more sense than my "healthy relationships speculation" just because you can have a very tightly nit neighbourhood that still is unsafe, just because of its surrounding area or people who infiltrate their little world.

As cyncial as all this sounds, you still got to remember, and I think Miranda at the least agrees with this too: it's supposed to be something we can draw knowledge from and apply it to our lives in order to make it better. Whether that eliminates looking at the health of a community or not is not the point; it's that we realize what we value in society to better know ourselves....

Poverty and community

2009-11-04T18:19:00.000-08:00

According to Webster's dictionary, a community is, at its most basic, a "a unified body of individuals". As defined, every member of a community is tied to each other in some way or another. What that tie is exactly depends on the type of community examined. Communities are made to serve some sort of purpose, either for themselves or the rest of society.
In order to examine the health of a community, one must analyze it on these facts. The way members of a community treat their fellow community members and how they treat those outside of their community is the main criteria for how well a community is serving its purpose.
If the community examined is residential in nature and large in size, such as a city, region, or country, then one of the criteria for "assaying the health of a society" is how it "deals with the problem of wealth and poverty" (Bellah et al, 285). This, however, would not be the best, or the only, basis to judge such a community. There are questions of how they deal with outsiders, how to punish those who have offended the community rules, and how they deal with the health of their members, among others. Poverty and wealth may be an important part of any residential litmus test, but it does not paint a complete picture.

11.1.09 Reflection

2009-11-01T17:34:00.000-08:00

It was a fairly exciting past weekend. The holiday atmosphere, despite it only being for Halloween, created a great flurry of activity and hype. Until entering college I never really realized that Halloween was such a big deal. I also never realized how important costumes are, and that it is common to have have not only one, but multiple. Being males, my roommate and I quite naturally waited last minute to prepare our costumes. We left Friday afternoon for Friendship Heights in order to salvage whatever costumes were available at a Halloween superstore. We arrived and found the store packed. The line was about thirty yards long and moved slow. No costumes really appealed to us, maybe because the length of the line remained in our minds or because there really was a limited selection, so we left with a new idea in mind.

We had reason to suspect there was a TJ Maxx in the area which was undoubtedly true. Brad and I purchased a set of bed sheets, complete with pillow case, sheet, and bed cover. They would be the foundation of our costumes. We returned to AU and began our craftsmanship. Brad cut two eye holes in the sheet: ghost! I drew some musical notes on mine, cut two arm holes and a hole for my head. Voila! Sheet music. Both were rather successful in terms of their reception. We did, however, miss trick or treating at the embassies because of tardiness.

I ended up enjoying a weekend of free burritos, wild costumes, and god times with friends. It was my favorite weekend at AU so far and I hope the trend continues. The festive air definitely seemed to heighten everyone's moods resulting many great times. It was a much needed excellent weekend that will without a doubt result in a successful school week.

Halloween weekend...

2009-11-01T13:46:00.001-08:00

The conversation in class on Friday was a little disappointing. I understand that providing constructive criticism about the university is important but there was a line that was crossed. We all had our dream schools; however we all ended up here. Yes, there are improvements that this university can make, but the Ivy Leagues of American also have faults. Honestly, we all are going to come out with a great education and I think that from now on we should embrace American in a more positive light.
On a happier note, this weekend was Halloween!!! Visiting the embassies was a lot of fun. I enjoyed walking around and seeing them. On Friday night, I was sick, so I decided to stay in and I watched The silence of the lambs. Talk about identity issues…the serial killer in the movie killed women and then dressed up as one. He suffered from not knowing who he was. I guess the question at the end of the movie was if being a serial killer was a front or if it was who he really was. As I was watching, I thought it was funny, that the idea of identity popped in my head during what was a non-school related activity. It is true that identity, fronts, and performances are everywhere. I hope everyone had a Happy Halloween!!!!

Honesty and fronts

2009-11-01T08:15:00.000-08:00

At a recent party, my sister's boyfriend was complimented on his "cool Seth Rogen costume". The fact is that he wasn't dressed up at all.
Although cases of mistaken intent happen around Halloween, when everyone is meant to be someone that they are not, during the rest of the year, such situations could be a bit more awkward. If one is trying to be honest in your demeanor, misinterpretation could lead to an erosion of your identity. Your true self is no longer a viable front, but what others see in it. You are no longer yourself, but, well, a costume.
Such misinterpretations often arise from interactions between individuals from two different cultures or personalities. What may be offensive to some may be humorous to others, what is appropriate to one may be repulsive to another.
While this Halloween and its craziness is all just a memory now, the awkward cases of mistaken identity that come with it will continue to occur, not just on next Halloween.

Sir Anthony Hopkins, serial killer!?

2009-10-31T09:13:00.000-07:00

So last night me and a bunch of people were watching The Silence of the Lambs. It was the first time I had seen it and a really enjoyed it, I thought it was so interesting with just the psychology of it (despite the fact that I refused to look at some of the gorier bits).

At the end of the movie, I kept thinking about how strange it must be to portray a character like that...like you would have to be in such a different mind set as an actor while playing Dr Hector.

And the scariest thing to me was that being in such a mind set - and not being able to get out of it - was a major reason that Heath Ledger died.

No, I'm not one of those peoples obsessed with celebrity deaths, but there obviously needs to be a disclaimer on being an actor "Caution: May cause death if taken too seriously" or something. So I guess my question is: when you have put on the "front" of being a psycho serial killer, how easy is it to come back from that?

Anyway so that was what I got out of that movie - very interesting movie.

And Halloween!! everyone is dressing up in ways they would never normally think about dressing - what would Goffman think of that!!!

Happy Halloween to one and all!

p.s. depending on when your last final is there is only 42 days left of this semester!! and that's including holidays and weekends!! ahhhh

Reflection 10/31

2009-10-31T08:33:00.000-07:00

I have spent a little while thinking about what I want to write my reflection about this week. At first I thought I would talk about Halloween and all the strange identities that are wrapped up in it, but honestly I do not feel like discussing the difference in identity between girls who wear skanky Dorothy costumes and those who wear a slutty flapper getup. I also could not really come up with a topic from class that I have been dying to discuss, but for some reason, my mind keeps returning to out college search discussion.

I know I was pretty adamant about my opinion in class, but it still has been something that has been bothering me. I do not understand why everyone was being so negative. American is clearly not Harvard. I am not going to lie and say that I wouldn’t think it was awesome to go to an Ivy League or school that is right below them, but let’s be serious. There was absolutely no way that I would ever have gotten into any of these schools and if for some crazy reason (i.e., my mother worked in the admissions office of Princeton) I did get in, I would probably be incredibly unhappy. I would like to get a good education and do something with my life, which is why I am at American University. I also would like to not be stuck in my room with piles and piles of books and skin that rarely sees the light of day, which, other than the fact that I could never have gotten in, is why I am not at Harvard or another one of those schools. Everyone seems to look at American as a safety school. I looked at American as a school that I would be happy at. It was a school I could reasonably get into in an area I liked. I am not going to say that I have always been one hundred percent sure of my decision. I did spend a lot of time worrying that this was not the school I was meant to be at, but now that I am here I realize there is not just one school. If someone puts the effort into being happy, he or she will be happy. If they don’t, they won’t be. So I think that everyone should stop complaining and start to make an attempt at being happy. By the way, Happy Halloween!

Jay Z started out as an individual

2009-10-28T19:58:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I do not really understand the quote from the book. Bellah states that this new form of individualism is not working successfully, but he also says it did not work way back when. If I understand it correctly, he is saying that there is no perfect situation when it comes to being an individual, which is true. Today everyone is following a trend and trying to be like someone else, back in the day people hated and oppressed groups so much, that it crushed any individualism that was there. Ideally there would be a Utopia where everyone can be unique person, but because that does not exist, everyone is pushing to become this special person, when actually they are coping what they saw on the tv. It is a struggle and realistically it will probably never be achieved.
In do today’s society everyone is trying to be like the big singers and rappers. For example Jay – Z who I saw in concert yesterday, is a huge entertainment figure. There were many people dressed like him or donning the Yankee Cap. Everyone is trying to achieve his look and he started out being an individual. It was an amazing show and I want to see him again, but I thought that concert was the perfect example or modern individualism and how it is not working. It really does not exist. In no way do I think I am an individual. I have a unique make up of common characteristics. Honestly, I really think in the future it will just continue to get worse...but who knows.

Individualism

2009-10-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

Bellah and the other authors of "Habits of the Heart" assert that true individualism is neither "individually nor socially viable", and that the only alternative would be a return to "intolerable discrimination and oppression". In the book, such a loss of individualism is seen as something to dread and mourn.
Although as an American I value individualism highly amongst my ideals, I find complete individualism unattractive. Complete individuality would harm one's ability to interact with others in your society. If one did not share a common tie with others on the planet, one would be unable to relate to those around them. You would be unable to properly communicate with the rest of humanity, thus losing your status as a member of humanity itself. As social creatures, we crave contact and connections with others like us.
A return to a "intolerable discrimination and oppression" not only sounds undesirable, but it sounds like an unlikely remedy. The "individualism" of the past seems more like conformity: while one was encouraged to make decisions for yourself, you were punished or outcast if you chose to disagree.
Though such methods of maintaining conformity still exist today in our laws, cultures, and religions, such restrictions are much looser than they are today. Though I do sometimes find myself feeling nostalgia for an unrealistic golden past, I know deep down that I have more freedom to be myself today.

The Importance of Individualism

2009-10-27T18:30:00.000-07:00

I am sure we have all watched a movie or read at book based in the past and though, "Wow, I would love to in [plug in the appropriate time period]." I know that I am guilty of watching Pride and Prejudice and thinking about how great it would be to morph into Elizabeth Bennet. I would get to live in a world full of romance and excitement! Life just seems to be better back then. Families stayed together and got along. People were friendly and got along with each other. All of this seem idyllic for a while. That is, until I realize that I would be forced to be a submissive woman without rights who would be subjected to hours of meaningless small talk and spend my life creating pointless artwork and children. The range of what was socially acceptable would be very limited. Things would not be perfect and idyllic, instead I would be living in a time of suppression that would be unlivable due to my experiences of living in a time period in which almost everything is geared towards making every individual feel unique and original.

I do not think that individualism is a problem in our society. I actually believe that is a very necessary part of life. Although living in a place in which individual needs do not matter and in which everyone works for the common good may be successful, I do not see a way for individuals to thrive in this type of environment. Instead I think that individual expression is important, because once a person has the ability to do whatever they want to do, within reasonable limits, they have the opportunity to make him or herself happy. I think a major problem that many people have today is that they do not take the initiative to make their lives better. Instead of looking on the bright side, people would rather sit around and nitpick about every last detail of their lives that is not perfect. Happiness is about attitude and if a person really wants to be happy, all he or she really needs to do it look at the positive things in their life and try to change the things that are negative. Many people have worked very hard to give us the freedoms that we now have, so instead of complaining, we should utilize our resources and make ourselves happy.

Live, Love, Laugh !!!

2009-10-27T09:39:00.000-07:00

To quote Miley Cyrus "Life is What You Make It"

Personally - I think this is a little more upbeat than what the authors of Habits of the Heart think of life which brings the phrase "Caught between a rock and a hard place"... not exactly the way I want to live my life. I normally have a pretty pessimistic look on life, but there is a line between realizing that life won't be this utopian place where everything you want to happen does, and just essentially giving up because the present is crap and so is the past.

Okay well what about the future?! Nowhere is this quote to they say anything about the future. Only focusing on the past and, to an extent, the present isn't really the best way to live. Things may look bleak right now, but you can make them better, you just have to try.

It's like what we were saying about colleges in class today - for the most part we would have been happy anywhere as long as we had put effort into making ourselves happy. And it's true, it doesn't matter about what anyone else is doing - it's all on you and you have to accept that and do your best.

You learn from the past and grow: you tunnel through the rock!!!

The authors of this book need a little bit of optimism...you can't live such a cynical life.

I know society today isn't as amazing as it could be - but that doesn't mean we should give up all together and not hope that we can make the future better. We make our destinies "Life is what you make it" so make it as good as it can possibly be!

10.25.09 Reflection

2009-10-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

I have been recalling my past in order to understand what it is I want to do with my future. I realize now, sad as it is, that I knew myself better when I was younger than I do now. Then, I had dreams of becoming a baseball player, an astronaut, an archaeologist, an countless others. Today, I really don't know what it is I want to do with my life, except that it does not have to do with the passions I once had as a child. That was until yesterday.

Yesterday was the first time I've ever been to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. It was mind blowing. For the first time in many years, former passions stormed back into my mind. Which passions, you ask? Of archaeology. To be an archaeologist was my most revered potential career while growing up. I loved the subject. I remember in fourth grade I constructed a miniature archaeological dig for the science fair. I hid "ancient artifacts" inside a hardened dirt/clay mix and had other elementary school kids come try their hand at their own dig. It was a hit.

I don't know what happened to that passion. Perhaps it was lost in the midst of a million other career ideas swimming in my mind. Maybe it was lost because I never had any classes remotely close to the topic in my schooling. I don't know. What matters, however, is that for the first time in a while I feel like I have an idea of what I could look like in the future. I can see myself as an archaeologist, or at least a similar profession.

I'm dropping out of SIS at the end of the semester. Instead, I'll be undeclared. I look forward to the change as a way to explore my rekindled passion, as well as other things which interest me. Walking through the Smithsonian, I felt at home. I was mesmerized by the bones, the exhibits of Darwin, of animals, of civilizations. I need to pursue these interests.

Reflection

2009-10-25T16:40:00.000-07:00

Last week when we were informed that the President of American University was coming to speak to us, I expected to sit through a very boring presentation about the mission statement of American University. However, when President Neil Kerwin did come to our class on Explorations it was just the opposite. I enjoyed listening to him speak so much. He was extremely personable and did not lecture us on American University. While he did talk about the University's future he spoke with us in a connecting way. He talked about his life and how he came from a small town. He is not at all what I expected. I expected a guy with a privileged life, who was basically destined for the job from birth. It was nice to hear about his college experience and to know that he worked hard toward his goal. He also spoke about his plans to improve American. He only spent a short time speaking about this, because he had to speak to Alumni, sadly we did not get to ask him as many questions as we would of wanted. I think he should come back! It was interesting to learn after he left that the school does not have a lot of Alumni support. Its something that I did not know and I did not think that a school could possibly survive off of basically tuition alone.
This weekend was Parents Weekend also. My parents did come up, however we only did one campus activity. My dad dragged me to the Gospel Choir performance and it was so good. Honestly I had no idea that they were any good and it was nice to see a different side of American University. It was a very enjoyable weekend!

rain rain go away!

2009-10-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

This weather is not too fun -- anywho. I very much enjoyed President Kerwin coming to talk to us. It really seems as though he cares about the fate of this school, and that is how you want a President to feel....and I previously had no idea about how much he had to improve the school's perception. Yes, his words may be diliberate, but I found him to seem genuine and personable.

I guess what the question is - when you put on a front, or are striving to uphold a certain status, is that still part of you?

And yes, of course it is. It's just a different side of you. With all these adults on campus, I'm having to be a little more careful with my manners and such - and that isn't changing who I am, it's just making sure I'm putting my best foot forward ... I'm doing my own part to uphold the expectations of attending University.

Very important side note....something NEEDS to be done about the heat in the building - I die daily 24/7 like I am right now... and the muggy weather outside...give me a break!

Anyway, all these parents on campus throw me off, with their inability to navigate TDR and the clogging of the shuttle ... perhaps if my own parents were here it wouldn't seem so annoying...I would just be another undergrad who's parents are visiting (and taking me out to yummy meals!)

I hope that everyone is having a wonderful parents weekend despite the weather

Parents Weekend- a front??? (I know this sounds cheesy, just bear with me)

2009-10-24T08:19:00.000-07:00

As I sat down with my friends at TDR last night, I noticed something unusual- The food there was not bland. The pasta and risotto served was actually pretty good. I thought it was one of those days where the TDR cooks do a good job, but then I noticed a few new diners in the cafeteria with us- parents.
Parent's weekend, this weekend, seems like a week of leisure activities for students to spend time with their families, some of whom they have not seen in months. But if one looks at the schedule of events planned for this weekend for our visiting families, it seems like a repeat of the events planned for parents during orientation. The University seems to want to further reassure Eagle parents in their kid's choice of school. As my friend Annie said, "No, really, you made a good choice, just keep paying the bills".
Such an attempt to console our parents takes on further importance when one considers the scandals of previous heads of the University. The school wants to let our parents know that their kid's school has improved from previous years, and that they do not have to worry about further scandal. Possibly, they may want to encourage future endowments.
This years parent's weekend is an excellent example of a group front. Whether or not the school rises to make this front the truth, we will soon see.

Choices or Fate?

2009-10-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

Now that we have had quite a few successful people come to talk to us about there lives and how they managed to become successful, I am starting to think that it might be more helpful to bring in people who are incredibly unsuccessful and try to figure out what they did wrong. It is not that I do not enjoy hearing what the people who come to talk to us have to say, but for the most part, they all seem to say that there success is due to some sort of randomness. Hearing President Kerwin speak was very interesting, but like most of our guests he did not help me to learn anything about myself. He discovered that he loved teaching and figured out that it was how he wanted to spend his life and somehow that worked out. Then he worked his way to the top and now he is the president of American University. That really gives me nothing for myself, except giving me the idea that no matter how hard I work and no matter what I do, my success or failure will be based on randomness.

This is why I thought it might be interesting to talk to someone who is completely unsuccessful. Maybe they would have some insight into why they failed, but more then likely, they would say things just did not work out. The stars were not aligned properly. This all leads me to believe that I should just work hard, find things I love and find a way to not care about being successful because clearly if it is not meant to be it is not meant to be. All any of us can do is try our hardest and maybe pay a few people off get fate on our side.

10.22.09 AU Community

2009-10-21T23:24:00.000-07:00

Of course AU is a community. How else could you explain living in a triple on a floor with fifty other people who eat in the same place, talk to each other every day, go to class together, and simply live together! I don't care about the definitions of community other people have. To me, if you live together you're in a community together, like it or not. However, expanding on my very simple definition, a few other factors come into play. For one, we chose American University. There were thousands of colleges we could have chosen, if we had decided to go to college at all! The fact that every person at American selected American shows every single one of us has at least that in common, and having something in common definitely contributes to the cohesiveness of a community. Another factor is that we crave knowledge, not only of the world but of ourselves. In the specific example of our UC: Explorations crew (which is also a community) we chose the program we did in order to learn about ourselves, as well as the material of courses at AU.

I also don't think it even matters if we're a community or not. Who cares? A community is just a word to describe something everyone knows already exists. Does it really matter how we classify ourselves? If I think we live in a community, it has no bearing whatsoever on anything. We just live together, go to school together, and hopefully get along together. That is all and that's all it should be.

Is AU a community

2009-10-21T20:50:00.000-07:00

As we talked in class, the definition of a community began to form. It was decided that a community is a group of people sharing a common interest or characteristic. Going to school at AU is a very clear example of a community, or more specifically a bunch of smaller communities within a big “community”. For example, these smaller communities are our dorms. They separate the thousands of students on campus to smaller communities. Technically, they do not have to have things in common, but by sharing a living space, they tend to hang out together and befriend each other. They create a community within the larger community of AU. The larger community of AU is more of a connecting circle. Its one common factor that everyone has...its an alumni circle. It is an exciting thing when you meet someone who went to the same place as you. Even though you may never see that person again, it creates a bond that is like a warm feeling inside. I think it terms of large communities AU its self is situated in a larger community of DC and of colleges in general. AU represents on college out of hundreds all over the world. In reference to the definition, they all share the common interest in educating people and helping them achieve a higher level of learning. In reference to AU and DC, AU is a very small division of the DC community – it shares the general location. Actually anything can be a community, explorations is a form of a very small community, we all share a class and a living location – its a great community to be apart of!

AU!!

2009-10-20T20:59:00.000-07:00

Community... Everyone refers to AU as a community and we definitely are. Having said that, there are also smaller communities on campus, in addition to the fact that we are part of something much bigger than ourselves! (prepared to be blown away!!!)

We all have something in common: Going to/being employed by AU

What do we want to get out of that: Education in some way or another, or teaching and getting paid.

We can easily relate to anyone on this campus because we are UNITED by this campus and all the opportunities available to us here.

Furthermore, on campus, there are smaller communities such as...University College...aka us!

We specifically are a division of the larger AU community just by doing Wednesday Labs and living on the same floor and taking a COMMON class. We are the Exploring Community, sub set of the UC Community, sub set of AU

Want to zoom out further? We are all students, we are united by our common thirst and quest for knowledge.

Honestly, because of the self-interest idea we talked about in class (and I know perhaps not everyone agrees) but you can make anything a community, as long as people are together and acknowledge that fact.

Is AU a functioning community? Absolutely - of course every system has its floors but we openly accept ourselves into the AU community, which expands past current students and faculty to include all the alumni, benefactors and whoever else feels AU in some way contributed meaningfully to their lives.

The next question logically follows is what is so daunting about the world that at every chance we get we make these common bonds between people around us, or is it just human nature to ultimately "cling" for our own sense of comfort?

AU's Community

2009-10-20T20:43:00.000-07:00

Of course, on first thought, it is easy to assume that AU is community. We are a group of people with some things in common. Everyone here clearly has something in common because we all chose to be part of the same school. It would be easy to assume that because of this, we are all strongly linked in the type of community that Joe Gorman would be proud of. Looking around the campus, there are many common events. Things that many people do together. People seem to have similar ideals and tastes.

Despite all of this, I am hesitant to say that AU has one strongly linked community. This may be because I am only a quarter of the way through of my freshman year or because I am reluctant to believe that any place has one strongly linked community. In my opinion, communities are more closely related to close groups of families and friends than they are to random groups of people who happened to end up in the same location because they have a couple of random similarities. When I think about what I miss about home, I usually think about my family and my friends. I am not at all embarrassed to admit that there has not been one instance in my time away from home that I have thought, "Gee, I really miss the random festivals that occurred in my town because a couple of people had interests in putting together a community." This is similar to the way that I see communities on campus. I do not believe that there is one unified community on campus, but instead I think that there are many smaller communities made up of groups of friends who mutually care about and support each other. To me, this does not mean that the people here are not proud to be part of American University, it just means that being part of a group does not necessarily make it a community.

Reflection

2009-10-19T12:01:00.000-07:00

I went home this weekend, which was very much needed trip. I missed home alot and it was nice to see my family and friends. It was crazy to try to fit my friends and all my family in, in one weekend. I was not stop running from house to house, went to the movies, the mall, and of course starbucks. I thought it was going to be so different being home, like that every thing would feel like it moved on without me, but it didn't. I guess after living somewhere for 18 years, two months away doesn't change alot. I was able to jump right back into things. The first thing I did when I got home was to go to my room. It was so clean and all mine, it was a highlight of the weekend. The only awkward moments came with my friends who have all seen eachother more than I have, so I was little behind on all the stories. Other than that though all anyone wanted to do was talk about college and all I wanted to do was hear about them. Its funny, I got to college so I don't feel like I have anything different to say, my initial thought to all these questions was like well its college. You eat, sleep, study, go out and thats about it. They wanted the details on something that I found to be so ordinary. I had to realize its been awhile since they lived that way and that they missed that life, so I had to help them rememeber it. All in all it was a great weekend, but I am kinda happy to be back!

10.17.09 reflection

2009-10-17T16:02:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have been considering what exactly it is I want to get out off college. The purpose of college, which has been forced down our throats for as long as we can remember, is pretty much to get a good job come graduation. We are supposed to pick a major and, in doing so, help shape the path our lives will take. Well, the problem for me is that I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. I have considered many options- currently I'm an SIS major so potential government jobs, but also I have considered teaching, psychology/psychiatry, crime and justice, journalism, creative writing and music, and even farming. I just do not know what I want to do. As a result I feel guilty. I feel like I am simply wasting my parents' money pursuing a degree that I may not even want.

College is recognized as a time to explore options, to take a variety of classes to figure out exactly what it is you want to do. The problem for me, however, is that I don't really believe in that philosophy. If I (or, my parents at least) am going to be spending a great amount of time and money on an education, I want to know exactly what it is I want to study, what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to use college to further my passions to enable me to become the most successful I can be in my area. Until I find that passion, I can't take all my classes seriously. Like in high school, I am tired of doing assignments and papers on topics I care nothing about. That needs to change.

In my nineteen years of existence, I've known nothing but education and school, and I'm a little tired about that. I want to travel, to explore, to learn through experience and hands on application versus through books. I want to live, and until I find a passion for myself I can never be fulfilled in college.

Reflection

2009-10-17T11:00:00.000-07:00

Having spent the last couple of weeks talking about invisibility, the topic is fresh in my mind. At first, I thought invisibility was a horrible. I thought that I would never want to be invisible, but recently, I have been wondering whether invisibility is such a bad thing. When a person is visible and present, things are expected of him or her. They are supposed to dress well, be well mannered, and most importantly, they are so supposed to be successful. If a person is invisible, none of these things are expected of them. They can do whatever they want. I think that this freedom could actually give people the ability to be truly happy, because instead of focusing on what is expected of them, they could do what they actually wanted to do and most likely, end up being much more fulfilled than a person who is forced to follow the rules of society instead.

Of course, invisibility would not be completely good. Throughout our discussion on invisibility, I have been remembering an episode of Heroes. In this episode, a man who has the ability to be invisible is a central character. Unlike what would ideally happen, this man is incredibly bitter about his invisible and becomes something of a misanthrope. He lives alone, because, of course, invisibility prevents him from having true relationships with any people. I guess this means that although sometimes I think that it would be very, very nice to be able to not be seen by anybody, in reality it would probably be a negative aspect. Like I keep saying in class, friends are important. If a person is all alone, they will never be able to be happy.

"P.G. Chillin'"*

2009-10-16T10:48:00.001-07:00

So as I rode down route 50 (New York Avenue to all of you AU folks) in our family's humorously dilapidated Saturn (a car driving by had knocked off the right side-view mirror), I couldn't help but think of the catching up with the friends and family that will ensue. How exactly I should get around to doing this, I still don't know.

At American, it's difficult to explain my home life and my former school without making it sound either ghetto, trashy, or bland. I went to the largest public school in the state of Maryland. It was (and still is) so overcrowded, that we had to annex an old former middle school down the street for exclusive use of the freshman class alone. While many schools have problems with diversity, our school's population was split 60% black and 40% white. While the school is set in the massive suburb that is Bowie, Maryland, it has a reputation for gang activity, drug use, and, since my freshman year, prostitution. The students can be rowdy, violent, and vulgar.

All the same, I loved my experience there. The teachers I had made me truly enjoy learning. Some of these teachers have become my friends. Although many of the students at the school were ridiculous and some were violent, if you were nice to them, they were nice to you. We used the ridiculous things that we heard or saw around the school as therapy- in my English class, we even had a wall of ridiculous quotes. While others were uncomfortable discussing racism, in my English class we often went off on tangents discussing and laughing about stereotypes. At the end of Junior year, we even had a cultural stereotype food day. As a Jew, I brought in potato latkes.

At Bowie High School, we valued humor, whether it was clever, simple, or just plain vulgar. The latest work of David Sedaris delighted us with the same intensity as the 'Ballad of Maliha', a two-part epic poem on a bathroom stall calling Maliha "a ho". A classmate's semi-erotic poetic ode to fried chicken, "Golden Brown", was possibly the highlight of my Junior year after a class trip to Europe. We took delight in the little things, even if we should be disgusted by them instead of fascinated with them. Bowie High School was a place I felt comfortable being out-of-the-ordinary and still get a good education.

Such a surreal place as Bowie High School deserves more than a comment here or there, but that is all I can give my classmates at AU. I don't feel I'm doing it justice.

At the same time, describing AU to my old friends and family has become a bit of a hassle itself. Some joke that I might become a "pretentious asshole". When I try to tell them about my fellow Eagles, they laugh about "those stuck up private school kids" and their wealth. I felt offended by these remarks about my friends. Even if some of them went to private schools, and even if some of their families are wealthy, they are anything but stuck up. They are proud of their backgrounds and the
schools they went to, but they do not act like they are better than others. I don't feel like I'm giving my fellow Eagles justice to my family and friends at home.

Being a part of the worlds of American University and of Bowie, Maryland are two of my greatest points of pride. Relating them and explaining them to each other, however, is not my favorite thing to do. Still, I must try my best.

*Yes, I am quoting Wale.

Nothing like being home

2009-10-15T20:23:00.001-07:00

I'm home! It's wonderful! My doggies have grown! I ate steak!! (Keara be jealous) It is lovely. The beginning of this week was not so...with all my midtermy things I had to do, I felt kind of bad because I was pretty anti-social for a while in that I spent all my time in the library trying to conquer my work. That way I could come home and have a nice relaxing weekend with my friends and family.

On that note, I think I will address balancing in this post. I manage my work well I think...yes in my head I stress myself out...but not even about things that are due tomorrow or even in a weeks time from now. I worry bout graduating on time, I worry about getting all my requirements done. I worry about the long term things. Things that are completely out of my control. And I think that's why they worry me - because I have no control over them, not yet at least. I don't think people realize what a stress ball I am because it's not on a daily level - it's on a much larger level. I've always been like that, but now at least I know well enough how to cope with my compulsive need to be in control on a long term scale.

Does anyone else have those profound moments? I think everyone here does - I think us explorers are all quite introspective and that's awesome. But why are we so? Why can't we just be? Just exist?

I think I'm trying to be all deep and meaningful right now and it's not working but bare with me because I'm free writing and refuse to stop. Because free writes are ultimately my way of venting and just being in the moment - something I obviously have already stated I'm not amazing at. I'm always thinking through the next couple of steps - always planning for monday and what I'm going to do when I get back to AU...when I'm going to do assignments that aren't even due until next week. I'm a little crazy, I know.

I'm reflecting on myself because that was the most prominent thing in my life this week.

Have a wonderful long weekend!

Reflection

2009-10-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

On Friday, we had another speaker come talk to us. She was very good yet I wish she talked about her topic more than just the last five minutes of class. She gave us a lesson in the definition of macro and microeconomics. Not that it was not interesting but I felt like we missed learning something great. I did however like how she sat down at the table with us. She engaged us and had a conversation instead of just talking at us. I cannot believe were almost done with another book. School has been moving so fast. It’s funny ever since reading Goffman and the idea of identity has come up in everything - in my anthropology class and just in everyday life. It’s funny how I can now see performances and identities playing throughout everyday life. The Dalai Lama came to American on Saturday; sadly I did not get a ticket to see him. I was somewhat upset about it, but I got up at 930 to go the Anthropology conference for extra credit and I was out of Leonard and I saw the Dalai Lama. It was cool, it was one of the wow moments, where I realized that I am in a place where I have the opportunity to see these influential people and I should take advantage of it as much as I can.

10.11.09 Reflection

2009-10-11T18:05:00.000-07:00

Turning nineteen is not an age to really celebrate for. It's not ten, not sixteen, not eighteen, not twenty one. However, I do feel kind of old. It's an odd feeling. Birthdays never really meant too much to me. For me it's only another day. But for others it's quite the opposite. It's a day to celebrate, to have fun with friends. Regardless of one's opinion of birthdays, I was inevitably affected by this last one.

It's strange to step back and realize how time flies. Because it certainly does. Graduating was perhaps the first time I truly realized that I was actually growing up. I'm nineteen. A year away from twenty! What the heck.

It's alright though. I've always waited for the time when I can make decisions for myself, like I've started already. And it's a liberating feeling.

On a completely different note, get ready. The band Beardstache is coming. The masterminds Bradford Parker, Homer Wolman, and Andrew Williamson are brainstorming as they prepare to become the definition of music in the twenty first century. Brace yourself for tracks such as "Water Bearding," "Forty Staches," "100 Meter-stache" and "Shoot Dude, Flush the Stache." They will blow your mind, as well as your beard like a gentle zephyr would. You will know as soon as recording is complete. And you will hear. And your beards willl shake. And quiver. And rumble. By Merlin's beard the world will never be the same.

Reflection

2009-10-11T14:20:00.000-07:00

Recently, the idea that I need to start deciding what I want to do with my life has been weighing pretty heavily on my mind. I have never been one of those people who has been able to say I want to be a doctor or a teacher or anything else. One day I think that the only thing that could ever make me happy is to be a famous actress and then the next day I think that being a librarian would be the only thing that would bring me true happiness. I am sure that many of us have been going through similar struggles. With the "real world" just around the corner and knowing the amount of people stuck in careers that they absolutely hate, how can trying to find something that we love not be an issue? For this reason, I find it very interesting to hear from successful adults who have found their true callings in life, or at least pretend to be happy when they talk to us.

This week, I found listening to Mary Hansen very interesting. I liked her idea that we should not limit ourselves to one thing very much, but at the same time, I do not know how helpful applying this philosophy into my personal life would actually be. I am not a very focused person and I have many interests, so I think that if I attempted everything I wanted to, I would just be going around taking random classes and doing random things for the next fifty years. I guess this is probably what I will be doing for a little while, though, hoping that something will stick. If not, I guess I am just going to have to settle for something random and hope that it all works out for the best. If there is one thing that the speakers have kept reiterating it is that we should not worry so much, that everything will work out for the best in the end, so I guess for now, I just have to work on not worrying and hope that this does not lead me into a career in prostitution and a young death.

Identity and 'Truth or Dare'

2009-10-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

After talking to a childhood friend of mine over the internet lately, I couldn't help but think of the fun times I had in my childhood- the schoolyard antics, the hobbies, the places I went, and the games I played. During my reminiscing, I remembered I game I played often with my friends, and realized it's relevance to our focus on identity in this course- Truth or Dare.
When one was asked a 'truth', one's front was, in effect, challenged. If your answer does not meet expectations based on your front, that front has been undermined. The individual asking for the 'truth' serves as a sort of moral watchdog, checking a person's front to see if they are being 'honest'- as honest as a front can be, that is. When an individual rises to the challenge raised by the 'truth', however, this temporary identity of the interrogator is damaged.
'Dares' serve a related, but different effect. The 'dare' is meant to force the individual to undermine their front themselves, or risk alienation from the group for your lack of trust in them. As a result, thought you may undermine one front, you maintain your identity as a member of their group for going along with their fun. In this challenge, the 'darer' is in a similar situation to that of those who ask for 'truths'.
Although it has been years since I've played this game, I've always felt some sort of intuition as to the social purpose of this game. It is only now, with some understanding of sociology, that I can articulate what I've felt.

No more advice!

2009-10-09T08:23:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I have never ever been someone to like taking advice - or rather being told what to do. I am my own person. I don't need someone else to tell me how I should live. I'll make my own mistakes and do things my way thank you. Yes, I'll admit that sometimes I need technical advice, but I really am not enjoying all these people coming in and us just saying "what advice do you have?" NOOO don't tell me how I should go about doing things. I'm an explorer! I'll find things out on my own, thank you very much. I appreciate people like Hewitt coming into to talk to us, sharing what her life has been about, but I'm not going to take notes on what she thinks I should do. Similarly, people who are saying that they aren't "finding themselves" by reading about what other people have accomplished, or do....ever heard of a big picture? Similarly, didn't we say on one of the first day of classes that your OWN identity is formed and influenced by those around you!?

Sidenote, Obama = Nobel Peace Prize....?

Also, finding v. creating yourself.... it is necessary to do both. We have already taken the MBTI tests, and therefore know that some people are just more inclined to certain ways of thinking than others. That being said, you're not going to get anywhere if you stick to your MBTI results and never try new things, or take a challenge. There is no fight between these two schools of thought. They need to work harmoniously to actually be of consequence.

Overall, I just really need to stop hearing people giving me orders. It's killing me.

Apart from that.... I would just like to get through mid terms right now please and not think about major requirements and life long decisions. One day at a time. (and I'm such a hypocrite because I'm the worst when it comes to wanting to be prepared for what's ahead of me. But I try to just take it slow and accept that the only thing I can do to prepare for tomorrow is tackle what is in front me right now)

Excited for the Dalai Lama? =]

To be seen, or not to be seen

2009-10-07T23:16:00.000-07:00

I've been invisible before. We all have. Sitting in class, the teacher's calling on random students. Who hasn't shrunk away into their desk, pretended to jot something down in a notebook, or look away? Who hasn't walked away from a sad event or argument, wishing not to see anybody, to be alone and as a result not see anybody. We can choose to be invisible, as our narrator does in Invisible Man. His situation, however, is entirely different.

I cannot completely relate to the narrator. His invisibility comes about because of his skin color and the lack of identity that results from his color. He is alone in the world. A person becomes invisible in the worst times. For the narrator he is invisible because his life and dreams were shattered. Now he questions everything he once believed and prefers a life absent of people. The invisible man's lack of identity instills dormancy in his passions. Now, he lives in a basement, a cave covered in bright, bright lights. His aspirations were shattered by a serious of events which resulted in his expulsion at school. He realized that Dr. Bledsoe, a man our narrator once praised, fronts an easygoing, white-abiding demeanor in order to advance his own position. The invisible man's grandfather's words again ring in an already muddled mind. Electroshock zaps whatever is left. The man is pulverized inside, and it is no wonder he lacks a clear identity and chooses to keep himself.

Invisible Man

2009-10-07T22:14:00.001-07:00

I believe anyone can be invisible. It all depends on what one is going through and how they feel on a specific day. Depending upon what definition of “being invisible” you are using it can be affected by race, but that is not the reason. The reason is the person and their situation. A person’s invisibility can be caused for the same reason the narrator is suffering – a lack of self-identity. The narrator of the Invisible Man is “invisible” only because of himself. While he is clearly a part of the lower class in society, he enables the invisibility. He does not know what role he is playing yet; therefore, he does not have a clear identity. Being black is simply a factor to his invisibility, not the cause. Because he is a part of a lower class, he just has to work harder at being visible. He is trying to find his identity by depending on others. He depends on Dr. Bledsoe to write him letters of recommendation, yet he betrays him and he is left with no work. This is a good example of the narrator’s invisibility. He was betrayed without a single thought. It is because he has not discovered his role in life yet. He is depending on others to carry him through a part of his life, while he really needs to be is confident in himself. He needs to form his identity and stand on his own two feet. From what I have read so far, I feel like he continuously attempts to be visible. He attempts to be a leader, public speaking, yet after that experience, he is told to only sit, listen, and take notes in order to learn the brotherhood’s doctrine. Looking at these examples more closely, I have begun to believe that at times his environment causes his invisibility. At the school Dr. Bledsoe saw his as a speck of dust. Not because of his ethnicity, but because he was an employee, he betrayed him because in reality the narrator screwed up so Dr. Bledsoe owed nothing to him. While he is delivering his speech he is in a “black setting”, which I think contributes to his invisibility, but at the same time he is trying to find an identity in this setting, so I am unsure of what role the setting plays.

Who Can Be Invisible?

2009-10-07T10:31:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to feel invisible? I think we would all be lying if we said we have never felt invisible. No matter if you are at the top of a social hierarchy or at the very bottom, I think there are situations in which everyone sacrifices their true beliefs in order to satisfy the requirements that social norms demand and by doing so become invisible. Despite this, I do believe that being at the bottom of the racial hierarchy probably increases the amount of time that a person spends being "invisible". I think that there have been many clear examples supporting this idea in what we have read in the Invisible Man.

Throughout the novel, the narrator has been struggling to find meaning and purpose in his life, and in many situations, instead of embracing what he truly likes, he has followed what others have wanted him to do. I believe that the narrator's naiveté also leads him into hiding aspects of his true self. This is evident near the very beginning of the novel when the narrator takes place in the "battle royal", in which he and his fellow classmates humiliated themselves for the pleasure of some of the prominent white men of the town. The narrator leaves this situation only thinking of the speech he made towards the end and feeling very proud of himself. I think this shows an obvious amount of naiveté in the narrator. During the battle royal, the narrator is completely invisible, but at this point he still does not realize that he is not seen. He thinks that the men are proud of him and that they support his ideas and his speech, while really he was just an object of ridicule.

For a while, the narrator continues to be invisible but he does not seem to realize it. The incident with Bledsoe and Norton proves his invisibility to a great extent. The narrator seems to think that both of these men have his best interests at heart, when they are really both selfish and uncaring men. Both men offer to help the narrator while simultaneously turning their backs on him. He is seen as inconsequential and therefore invisible by almost everyone. Even when he begins to work for the brotherhood he is still invisible. He is simply a tool being used by the brotherhood as a mean to an end. When Brother Jack first introduces him to other members, a woman even asks if he should be blacker. I think that much of what the narrator experiences could be experienced by anyone who is naive and desperate for purpose and meaning in their life. He is easily manipulated, like many young people seeking approval are, but at the same time, I think much of what he experiences is heightened because he is basically at the bottom of the racial hierarchy and is also very insecure. As of this point, though, the narrator does not seem to realize how invisible he is. Because of the name of the novel, I doubt he will do anything to combat his invisibility, but at the same time, if the narrator just realizes he is not seen by anybody else, he might be able to improve his life.

"I'm invisible! I'm invisible! Can you see me?"*

2009-10-06T18:10:00.000-07:00

The opening chapter of the 'Battle Royale' serves as an excellent example of invisibility along general and racial lines in Ralph Ellison's novel, Invisible Man. In this passage, young black men are invited to a local banquet attended by local prominent white men, only to be set up against each other for the entertainment of these prominent figures.
On one level, such a scene of cruel sport speaks to all the disenfranchised. Whether you work in a factory, a restaurant, or at a post office, one may feel that you have lost your identity in the demands of your job. You are no longer Susan or Steve, but the labor that makes easier for those you are serving. You become the shirt on the rack, the menu laid gingerly in front of your customer, or the letter in the mailbox. All that concerns those who benefit from your labor is the outcome, not the fact that a human being did it. In this sense, the loss of identity experienced by the narrator, and the other 'fighters' at the banquet that night can be felt by anyone who has felt unappreciated and taken for granted.
One another level, the sense of invisibility felt by the narrator are specific to those who have been marginalized for their race. The narrator and the other young black men are invited as entertainment for powerful white men, and they entertain them by playing to the stereotypes their 'audience' hold of them. The fights and subsequent struggle for payment in coin were meant to reinforce the view popular among whites at the time that blacks were violent, mindless, and greedy. This was not just a sporting event where one could bet on the outcome of a match, but a ceremony by which the powerful white men of the community asserted their dominance. In all of this, there was no place for any of the boys to be individuals. They were forced into being the stereotypes the white community wanted them to be. When racial stereotypes dominate, as they do in the 'Battle Royale', then one truly becomes invisible.

*Quote from the amazing film, Mystery Men. I know I'm dealing with a serious subject, but I'm just happy for the moment that I did a non-generic title for once.

10.4.09 Who the heck am I?

2009-10-04T20:54:00.000-07:00

I'm an INFP. Introversion. Intuition. Feeling. Perceiving. Andrew "The Man" Williamson. All in one package. Im just kidding. People don't actually call me "The Man." But after taking the Myers-Briggs type indicator that's honestly what I feel like. I was amazed with the test. The results were close to spot on in describing my kind of personality, the way I'm programmed, me. Perhaps the most important item I received from the test was that the results confirmed things I truly wanted to hear. Perhaps it means nothing. Regardless, the test got me thinking.

I don't talk about myself, my feelings, my personality very often. This is too true in many people's lives. As such, I greatly enjoyed the exercise. I talked about myself through questions on the exam, and in response I received pages discussing me. And it was refreshing. Perhaps the reason why I don't really open up to many people is because I don't think there's enough people to listen, to really sit down and let me talk about me. It's eerie in a way, but in this anonymous setting it seems is almost the easiest way to talk.

I find security in being identified. According to Myers-Briggs I'm in one of sixteen categories. Whether you like personality tests or not, it really is comforting to know you fit in somewhere. My former potential career choices came back in the results of what professions IMFPs take like psychologist, jornalist, writer, poet, editor, musician. These passions which lay somewhat dormant in my current career path rumble a little now. I've been questioning what I really want to do in this thing called life and I found motivation to reconsider the potential of my past passions.

Reflection

2009-10-04T20:29:00.001-07:00

The Myers Briggs results told classified me as an ISTP meaning I am an introvert, sensing thinking, and perceiving person. It is funny because I guessed one of them wrong. I said I was more intuition than of a sensing person. I still believe it is true. A sensing person is a person who are more in tune with facts while an intuition person who thinks about theory and symbolism. I don’t know if I am right or if the test is right, but it was interesting to learn about how I tested and how I am perceived through this test. It was interesting to see the jobs positioned with the certain personality types. My favorite for myself was the job of a farmer or animal breeder – two things I can safely say I will never do. It also gave some realistic job suggestions such as a orthodontist or a surgical assistant, but I don’t have any idea which direction I will go in. It was helpful for ideas, but considering that I didn’t like many of the suggestions I doubt that I will pursue them, but the field identification was helpful. I never thought that I would take the test and have immediate reality as to what I would like to do. However, this test helped me to look with my strengths and weaknesses in mind. Honestly, this test is really not going to affect my life at all. I am taking it as a useful piece of information to keep in your head as I’m living my life. I appreciate the opportunity to learn more about myself!

Future/Career Crisis AaaAAAaagGGhHHH!!!

2009-10-03T16:52:00.000-07:00

Today I went to a craft fair in Adams Morgan, called Crafty Bastards. The tiny Reed Community Park was packed full of the young, the old, the hip, and those are aren't hip but just don't care. The heat of the day did little to deter them from their mission: to buy cute handmade products.
I originally came exclusively to buy the wares of these crafty folks, but I left with more than just a brooch and two barrettes. For the last few weeks, I've been in a bit of a state over what I should major in, what I should do with my life, etc. For a while, a wanted to get a career in art conservation, but now I'm not so sure. Should I take advantage of the international character of AU and become an International Studies major? But I would be a horrible worker in politics!!!! Should I just go through with Art History? But what would I do with that degree?!! I like the radio show; should I study journalism? But I'm horrible with interviews!!!
At the craft fair, the people sitting behind their wares were friendly, enthusiastic, and happy. None were condescending to their customers, how one would expect an 'artiste' to act. One vendor even offered me a discount at her online store of a product that had run out earlier that day!
Although I may not have an idea of what I want to do with my life, the infectious enthusiasm of these craft sellers inspired me to do something that made me smile every day that I did it. Even if it is being a "bastard".

Reflection 10/3

2009-10-03T16:18:00.000-07:00

After getting the feedback from my Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test i was not very surprised. During class when we were guessing what we were, I could figure out pretty simply which type I would be, but this was not necessarily because I know my personality all the well. I think it had more to do with the mood I was in when I was taking the test. I will freely admit that I was not in the best mood when I was taking the test. My results were INFP, and I think that to some extent they were accurate. I am a somewhat introverted person, but this introversion is heightened when I am not in a good mood. Also, when I am in a bad mood, I am slightly more irrational. I think this could have had a somewhat meaningful impact on the other three types that I got. I Despite this, I thought the results were interesting. Many of the things that the test said about me were true. I can be very sensitive and I can also be disappointed easily. I also think that I am a somewhat creative person who is curious about many possibilities.

I was very excited to learn about what careers would be good for me because I currently I am undecided. I found some of the suggestions interesting, but I am not really sure I would be very interested in any of the suggestions. They did get me to start thinking about where my life could be going though. Maybe in a couple of years I will actually know, but until then the MBTI has given me some interesting things to think about.

C'est l'heure pour une reflection

2009-10-02T15:47:00.000-07:00

Je voudrais pratiquer mon français, donc je vais écrire cette poste en français et de nouveau en anglais pour les gens qui ne parlent pas le français…peut être vous allez apprendre un peu! Bien, j’ai eu un peu de surpris quand je suis trouvé mon type de personalité avec le “Meyer Briggs Test”. J’ai pris l’examen deux fois mais ils ont eu très cours et peut être incorrecte. Alors, je suis contente avec mon type qui est ISFP et la description, à mon avis, est plus ou moins vrai. Mais je ne sais pas que je devrai charpentier ou danser (mais j’adore danser). J’aime les points de personnalité que j’ai comme « vivre dans le moment » et que je suis loyale et fidele, et je suis accord avec ca, c’est très correcte. Je ne pense pas que on a confiance complète dans l’examen mais il nous donne une autre perspective valide.

I want to practice my french so I will write my post in French and again in English for people who don't speak french...maybe you will learn some! Well, I was a little surprise when I got the results of my personality type with the Meyer Briggs test. I have taken the test twice before but they were very short and may not have been completely accurate. However, I was happy with my type, which is ISFP et the description, I thought, is pretty much accurate...Though I don't think I will become a carpenter or a dancer (though I love to dance). I like the points about ISFP like "Live in the moment" and that I'm loyale and faithful, I agree with that fully. I don't think that we should completely trust the test but it gives us another valid perspective.

( I didn't write this bit in french ...just English now) so yeah I just always feel the I'm so in the middle with the personality tests, and just depends so much on the circumstances as to how I act...whether I'm loud or quiet. I suppose actually what was interesting the one of the charactersistics of ISFP was to be adaptable and flexible which like fits me soo well... I know through experience that I am extremely flexible with things so it seems to actually hold some weight. It's definitely something to take into account when I start looking at possible careers and jobs, but apart from that I'm still gonna trust myself over the test, and realize that I know myself better than any machine does =D

10.1.09 Fiction/Non-Fiction

2009-10-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

The genre distinction plays a much more important role in Augustine's Confessions, versus Ellison's Invisble Man. In Augustine's case I would be incredibly angry to learn that the pious piece I put my time into reading was indeed fiction. It would be blasphemy. Augustine makes countless religious claims which he supports through his own personal experiences. If those personal experiences were in fact made up in the pursuit of literary freedom, not only would I be mad, but I would also question Augustine's mental stability. The validity of his work comes from the claim that everything in Confessions is unquestionably true. Should it all be made up, I could never take the work seriously.

In Invisible Man, however, the same is not the case. Had Invisible Man been nonfiction, I think it could only become more valuable and valid. As it is written in first person, the book truly seems as if it is indeed nonfiction, told by the author who is describing his own life. This is not the case. Instead, through the narrator's look back on his fictional life, we are able to discover themes Ellison wants us to discover. Since it is fiction, the author can determine what's important and what's not, versus an autobiography which, though not exclusively but often times explains what has happened and it is mostly up to the reader to determine the defining aspects of the author's life. It would have be a ridiculous tale had it been true, but it is the same tale nonetheless made on Ellison's, not fate's, terms.

Real and the UNREAL

2009-09-30T17:18:00.000-07:00

I happen to be writing a paper write now arguing the Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried carries just as much, in fact more, weight than non-fictional accounts of the Vietnam War because it allows the reader to connect on a more personal level as the writer isn't just saying "This happened, then this happened.." it's much more...story like. And if a writer is good at what he does, then it shouldn't matter whether what he writes is based on his life experiences or not. Having said that, all authors add their personal experiences into their writing and I know that personally from my own fictional writing. It was, in fact, the best piece of advice I ever got from a teacher on the subject of writing: Write about what you know. And from the little I know about Ellison, he does shine through in The Invisible Man: the time era is the same, and therefore more importantly they must have had similar social experiences given the racial climate of that era.

So just because you find the two books on different shelves in Barnes and Noble, it doesn't mean I take either of them more or less seriously (going back to the "Expertise" discussion we had one day...) you take them at face value. At the end of the day, they are both stories to you, unless you are hiding something from us and are either Augustine or Ellison.............

and now I will go back to my essay in which I will in short expand upon my ideas here =]

'Factual' versus 'fictional' memoir

2009-09-30T12:40:00.000-07:00

The type of memoir that a person writes- either fictional or factual- effects how we perceive the events in the work. If, for example, Augustine's Confessions was changed from fact to fiction, his modern audience would have much less sympathy for and understanding with the narrator. It is hard enough for members of a modern, secular society to completely relate to Augustine's religious struggles, heavy on rhetoric and light on detail as it is. With the lack of a story and more philosophical monologues, few readers looking for a fictional account of the 4th century Roman Empire will find an enjoyable read.
If modern readers would find a lack of enjoyment in Augustine's 'fictional' memoir, they would find a jarring account of segregation and racism in early 20th century America in Ralph Ellison's 'factual' Invisible Man. Ellison's prolific use of detail, showing the human race with all of its flaws but deserving of redemption, creates a picture of America under Jim Crow that rings true to those who have learned American history at the end of the 20th century. Even if the story did not actually happen, its reads to be true enough for those with a basic knowledge of American social history to earn plausibility.

9.26.09 Reflection on "Home"

2009-09-27T19:48:00.000-07:00

Returning home Friday, September 25th presented a slew of mixed emotions in my already mixed mind. It was overwhelming. Living in Washington DC for this near month and a half stay has been by far my longest time away from home. Until riding the R5 train to our suburban Philadelphia Fort Washington station, I passed the weeks in Washington occupied and invigorated so my mind strayed from thoughts of home. I realize now how much I miss the last eighteen years of my life. The security and love of family, the familiarity of my house's turns, the solitude I find in my bedroom are all greatly missed. Life is changed in college, and only now can I confirm that the seemingly fictional and Hollywood-ized depiction of going home is without a doubt very true.

My mom picked me up at the train station, beaming a smile like I've never seen. She brought our dog Rascal who greeted me in his own, though equally exuberant dog way. My mom proceeded, as planned quite sneakily, to pick up my dad from a different train station as he returned from a long business trip out west. The two returned home and my dad opened the door to find me, his only son, waiting with a hug. He did a double take as he first glanced me, but soon his expression was one of sheer happiness. He even called me as I rode the train home, and I had to carefully place my words so as not to ruin the surprise. It was worth it. He said it was his best surprise ever, that much better since coming off an exhausting trip. We had pizza and hung out for the night. It was a great weekend.

So now I prepare for my voyage home. I have to admit I am a bit melancholy, but optimistic to continue my time if Washington. I appreciate the warmth and comfort of the green leather chair I sit in now. Rascal is sleeping in a familiar spot on the sofa. The Chinctoteague Island Easter Decoy Festival posters wear the cream colored walls behind them. The soft glow of the two shaded lamps evenly fill the room. This is the way things have been for years. I won't see them until Thanksgiving. I'll survive. Leaving home, I learned this weekend, makes the return that much more glorious.

reflection

2009-09-27T16:47:00.001-07:00

This week seemed especially long. For the lab we observed the roll that the monuments play in life and how people react to the monuments. We saw their identity not only as a national icon, but as a regular building. It was interesting to watch the people engage the building. In class on Friday we reflected on the performance each piece presented with some members of the Board of Trustees. This was an interesting activity because we got to see a different perspective from someone who has lived longer than we have. There were a couple of points in class that I wanted to respond to and because we were short on time I did not voice my opinion. Everyone kept saying that the Korean and Vietnam Memorial was more emotional for those who visited because it was not a glorified war such as World War II. First I think it is important to realize that the Washington DC WWII memorial is not “thee” memorial. The main one is located at Pearl Harbor and that is where people go to memorialize those lost in the war. The WWII memorial in DC is more of a national representation bringing the states together. Everything people said in class was correct about the emotional detachment, but I disagreed with the reasoning. I think it is important to realize that the WWII memorial was “just” built. It opened in 2004, over 50 years after the war ended, while in comparison the Korean opened in 1995 and the Vietnam in 1982. Those wars were more recent than WWII so those who fought were still alive to mourn. The average age of a soldier serving in WWII around 65 or 70 when the memorial opened, most started to die so it does not create as much as an impact. I really do not think it has to do with the impact of the wars, but it has to do with the time period and the identity of the monument. I think it needs to be clear that no war is glorified, simply the grieving time has passed, and to most people it is a piece of history, not really a “current event” such as the Korean or Vietnam wars. Another point that I wanted to make in class was in reference to the Lincoln memorial. It was brought up how the Lincoln Memorial was modeled after the Temple of Zeus and PTJ asked if the memorial is treated like a temple. Some people said it was because it is such a national figure however when I observed the interaction of people with the monument the idea of a temple did not come across. I had already known that the Lincoln Memorial was modeled after this particular temple and I thought it was humorous to watch people “desecrate” that temple. I saw many people using it as a place of exercise, a meeting place, and a lunch stop. From my understanding, those are not normal activities for a temple. I would expect sovereign respect all around. I’m not saying people were not respectful, but I didn’t see the identity of a temple coming into play. Lincoln is a figurehead and the fact that was “thee” tourist attraction was very clear, but it did not serve as a temple. Those were just a couple of things that I wanted to say in class, but ran out of time to say. Not very important, but that is all I have to reflect on for this week. The baseball game was fun. It was my first so I enjoyed the experience! Sadly, the Nationals lost, but at least they scored one run in the 8th inning!

Reflection 9/27

2009-09-27T15:56:00.000-07:00

This weekend I had the opportunity to watch two very different movies and for some reason the disparity between the two movies made me think of the different fronts movies put on. One of the movies I watched was a terrific horror movie called Descent. When I say it was terrific I mean it was terrible. The basic plot was that six woman trying to find some excitement in their lives decide to travel into a cave which is, of course, inhabited by either bats that evolved into semi-humans or humans who evolved semi-bats. Of course, these bat things jump out of dark places and then attack and mutilate the women who quickly turn on each other. The other movie I watched was a bollywood movie called Dil Se. This gem told the story of a man who looked at a woman once and fell madly in love with her. Despite only having seen her once and never actually having a conversation with her, the man decides to hunt the woman down relentlessly and tell her of his endless and undying love for her, even after it is revealed that the woman is affiliated with a terrorist organization.

Although I really did enjoy watching both of these movies, afterwards I could not help but think about how stupid they were. People want certain things from their movies, and at certain points in the movie, I felt that the movies would be so much better if the directors did not give the people what they wanted. There are certain formulas that most movies tend to follow. For instance, in Dil Se, at the end the man and woman both reveal their true love to each other. I think the movie would have been much better if the man instead realized that he was in love with his faithfully waiting fiance, instead of the woman who is attempting to blow up half the participants in a parade. I don't know if this is relevant at all, but I really think that in some situations, movies would be much better if they were not constantly following the same stupid formulas and were actually surprising.

Bookstore politics

2009-09-27T13:04:00.000-07:00

On a visit to Dupont Circle this week, I passed by several bookstores, and visited a few. What struck me more than the selection of the books, however, was how the political views of the management were expressed in the layout of the stores.
While entering Books-A-Million, I was immediately struck by a large pile of Glen Beck's latest book, Arguing with Idiots. Among the 'recommended titles' was Jonah Goldberg's Liberal Fascism. I did not see the tables full of Obama paraphernalia that I was used to in the local Borders or Barnes and Noble in my hometown, Bowie, which had a majority African American population. It was quite subtle, but easily noticed.
Others were not so subtle in their political viewpoints. One gay bookshop made their disdain for social conservatism blatant, filling their window display with signs condemning the passage of Proposition 8 in California, mannequins with t-shirts reading "legalize gay", and various political books supporting gay marriage. I couldn't help but smile at their honesty. There was no use of the subtilties seen in Books-A-Million; they wore their hearts on their sleeves.
In a town that runs on politics, it is not hard to believe that the great issues fought over in Congress could flow over into the city's public life. During these book store visits, it became quite clear to me just how extensive it can be.

Board of Trustees

2009-09-26T16:10:00.000-07:00

Having the Board of Trustees in class was an experience, not necessarily good or bad. The wierd thing about it was that you could almost feel everyone putting on a front in a way: dressing neatly and such. What was a little awkward for me was that I had a feeling that the man trustee was a Vietnam vet... but only in between our discussion of the Vietnam memorial and his introduction. It made me feel just awkward about everything, because at some points we must have been bringing up things that were sensitive material to him and he even said that he knew people who never came back from Vietnam. I felt maybe I was being a little insensitive, especially because I raised the idea that the memorials do not necessarily need evoke emotion in order to be effective in commemorating the war.

I would have been a little more sensitive if I had thought about it...I was even telling my group how when I was at Union Station the other day, I was sitting next to a Vietnam veteran and the fiancee of a man who served in Iraq. They were comparing and constrasting their two experiences which was so interesting. The Vietnam veteran was saying that "the war never goes away - it's with me 24/7, 365". It was interesting to eavesdrop on their two stories.

Still - I was thought having the Trustees there brought an interesting perspective to the class and allowed us to see things on a different level with, in a sense, more adults in the room.

On a different note, this whole spiel with the war memorials (in addition to reading Tim O'Brien's book The Things They Carried, has ignited my interest in war again, if that makes any sense. In fact, my revelation just now (as I told Keara, Molly and Anna) was that I want one of my concentration areas in SIS to be Peace and Conflict Resolution!! haha! Good moment. I kind of already knew that, but I just made sense of why I wanted to do it. I've always had an interest in war and its causes and consequences and such...

So all in all - I've enjoyed my war themed classes this week and will continue to =]

p.s. Invisible Man is pretty disturbing - point of discussion for anyone who know's what I'm talking about, but also a disclaimer =]

Structured Response 9/23

2009-09-23T20:19:00.000-07:00

Nowadays, it seems as though every single person who has some miniscule amount of fame is coming out with an autobiography. As much as I enjoy watching Chelsea Lately, is it really necessary for Chelsea Handler to come out with an autobiography entitled My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands? Probably not, but would it be enjoyable to read about the humorous and embarrassing one night stands of another person. Probably.

What makes a person worthy of writing about their life? To some extent, I think that having a unique perspective on life merits writing an autobiography. If someone was able to overcome some problem, chances are someone in the world would like to read about how they did it. At the same time, I find it incredibly annoying that every fame seeking bimbo has to come out with an autobiography. Do both Paris Hilton and her dog need autobiography. I think that is really unnecessary. If you have nothing to teach anyone or you are a dog, you should not waste trees and keep your thoughts to yourself. I believe if a person is writing the genuine, heartfelt story of his or her life and what they have learned, it is okay for them to write an autobiography. Maybe I would not want to read it, but someone in the world probably would, but when it comes to people writing ridiculous things just to maintain or gain fame, I think it is annoying and unnecessary.

Structured Response 9.23

2009-09-23T18:24:00.000-07:00

According to some of our classmates, only an important life merits an autobiography. According to Saint Augustine, only a life where one undergoes a profound experience is worth recording. Neither are completely right.

For our classmates to be entirely correct, on must assume that one wants the entire world to read your autobiography and possibly make money off of it. This may not always be the case. One could write an autobiography to for purely personal reasons. If I should ever have children, I would want to write a completely honest autobiography for them to read after my death, so that they can truly know their mother. Others write them just to keep track of their lives if they should forget small, yet significant details. They may not want the world to know their stories, but they want their stories recorded none the less.

Augustine is not entirely correct because his definition applies to every human being. We all experience the first time we disagreed with our parents, those who have been our moral compass since birth. We all take our first great risk, and wither bask in the glow of success or wallow in the shadows of defeat. We all experience our first love, and are all briefly devastated when we realize does not last forever. We all have experiences that have changed our views or altered our behavior. We may not instill our experiences with the profundity that Augustine has given his own, but that does not mean we do not have these experiences.

To put it briefly, a biography is what you make of it. If you want to change the world with your story, or just to make money off of it, you should at least fashion yourself with a sort of importance. If your motives are more modest, than this restriction does not apply.

My Life!

2009-09-22T17:34:00.001-07:00

Do I want to live a life that is worthy of an autobiography? Rather than directly answering this, I will say that I want to live an exciting life that I can happily look back on in 60 years time and feel accomplished. I don't necessarily want to be famous or world renounced, I just want to live a life that makes me happy. It doesn't matter to me whether other people think my life is good or interesting or worthy of an autobiography. If I'm happy, I'm happy. Who cares what anyone else thinks?

As long as I'm able to reflect and look back on my life without feeling remorseful, I'll be happy. Even then, I want to have regrets because that's what makes you grow and learn. And other people might not think a book about regrets and learning isn't a good book to read. But for me, it's perfect.

Of course I have aspirations and hopes for how my life will turn out, but I'm remaining open about what will happen in my life. I just know that I can try my best to make myself happy and that's it.

I'll be pleasantly surprised if my life turns out and I am accomplished enough to document my life, but I don't expect it, nor will I be upset or feel unachieved if I don't have my autobiography on the shelves of Barnes and Nobles.

FIND HAPPINESS IN YOURSELF AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYONE ELSE!!! =]

2009-09-20T21:14:00.000-07:00

Debra Humphreys talk on Friday was not very interesting. Not that she did not present her topic well, but I was a bit unsure how it applied to me besides the bits of advice she threw in. It was rather boring and it was not a presentation that sparked my interest.
However, I did really enjoy the National Cathedral. The building was amazing. It was probably the prettiest church I ever walked into and the most Christ centered church. The depictions of Jesus' life and the artistic was it was done was amazing I could of looked at everything all day. I thought it was ironic that this was the National "Church" and all the Presidents have their funeral here and that it serves as a NATIONAL landmark in a country where there is suppose to be separation of church and state. It does not really bother me at all, but I had trouble seeing the separation of state. The only separation that was clear was the fact that they do not receive money from the government. It just struck me as interesting. This country was founded on Christian values and it was interesting to see that even through the radical movements over the years and the issues that have arose that the country has not lost its tradition and it still holds to those original values. I just loved the whole experience. It was an amazing building. It was interesting to learn about some prominent figures who were buried there such as Helen Keller. I had no idea that her or Woodrow Wilson were there so that was a interesting thing to see. In all honesty though the amount of graves freaked me out. At first I walked into the church and I was like oh I would want to have my wedding here, but after she named all the people buried in the building I changed my mind. Instead maybe I'll have my funeral there since that seems to be a trend, but first I have to change the world or something like that...obviously that will take some time and thankfully I don't plan on dying anytime soon!

9.20.09 The National Cathedral

2009-09-20T20:16:00.000-07:00

The National Cathedral is down right impressive. After touring through England in the spring I was hesitant to believe that anything American could come close to the majestic grandeur that so many English churches and cathedrals possess. The reason? Age. I'm not sure why, but I've always been under the impression that cathedrals can only really attain value in my mind when they're centuries old. The National Cathedral corrected the error in my judgment.

Walking up the path to the cathedral was moving. It doesn't take the pope to realize how incredibly glorious religious buildings can be. You feel minuscule as you approach and as you enter, realizing, even as the nonreligious person I am, that God is greater. In entering I was blown away by how incredibly large the interior is. You're pretty much enveloped in the eerie but reassuring quiet which seems to permeate the building. And I'm not even joking.

One of my favorite aspects of the National Cathedral is the vividly colored stained glass. The almost neon glass depictions are hard to look at for long in some areas, a different step from the cathedrals of old England. However, in the way of those ancient cathedrals, I was happy to hear that everything was built from hand, adding a great deal of authenticity in my book. definitely cannot wait to go back and do more exploring. Cathedrals are some of the few places where you can simply wander around for hours, never knowing what you can stumble upon. In this case, the Darth Vader gargoyle is one. I hope to go back soon and explore the perimeter of the area more, the gardens were beautiful and need more time.

College College College

2009-09-20T14:28:00.000-07:00

When Ms Humphrys came into talk to us on Friday I was not exactly blown away by what she had to say. To begin with, one of the very first slides she showed us was entitled "Me". For the duration of that slide, all that she could say were bits of advice for us as young college students; "Work hard, but not too hard"... apart from the fact that she went to college, I really can't say I learned anything about her. Okay, everyone has advice they want to give us especially at this time in our lives, but I was hoping she would talk more about herself than advice and statistics. I thought some of what she said was extremely obvious, and her saying it is not going to change the way any of us look at the opportunities we have right now and what we should do with them. I felt very lectured by her, like I wasn't doing enough to ensure my success in the future.

If I wanted to dig a little deeper, it was almost as though Debra Humphrys' talk paralleled Augustine's Confessions in that they were both talking about past regrets, although Humphrys went one step further trying to stop others from making the same mistakes she did, whereas Augustine basically just says "Everyone's human, c'est la vie". I understand she was just trying to point us in the right direction for the future, but at the same time, I would quite like to make my own way through life and make my own decisions and mistakes. I won't be swayed by statistics and Ms Humphrys' own life lessons!!!

Impostor Complex Reflection

2009-09-20T12:34:00.000-07:00

This week we all had the opportunity to listen to Debra Humphreys speak. I found some of what she said confusing. For instance, she spoke about the things that we all need to do to make us more likely to get jobs in the future, but at the same time she was saying she got to where she is in life by luck. Despite this, I did find one thing she mentioned interesting and this was the Impostor Complex. For some reason, this idea stuck with me, and I began to think about how much easier life would be if everyone just admitted that they are not perfect and that a lot of the time, the feel out of place. I know that I an admit pretty easily that I feel out of the place most of the time. Before anyone says that I am being a Debbie Downie, it is not that I feel badly about myself, it has more to do with the fact that I don't really think that I am acting like myself. Life would be so much easier if everyone could just act like they wanted to and not be judged.

This leads me to another point. Whilst watching an episode of the Tyra Banks Show, I found out that there is a fairly large phenomenon of women partaking in do-it-yourself plastic surgery. What type of society do we have if people feel so badly about themselves and feel such a need to conform to social norms that they would risk never being able to sit down comfortably again to have a J.Lo-like bottom end? This might seem like a stretch, but I think if there was a better way for people to admit that they do not feel perfect, and they do not feel like they belong all the time, people would feel so much better about themselves. Like the message on the inside of my Dove Chocolate keeps telling me, I shouldn't feel the need to be perfect, and no one does.

Reflection on District 9

2009-09-19T13:01:00.000-07:00

Last night, my friend Annie and I saw the new Peter Jackson film District 9 in Bethesda. The situation portrayed in the movie brought up several questions in my mind about human behavior and the true nature of evil. I know it sounds like I'm reading a bit too into a sci-fi movie, but I will explain.

The plot of the movie focuses on the actions of Wikus Van der Merwe, an average and mundane desk worker in a company called the MNU, which is hired by the South African government to clear District 9, an area of Johannesburg, of a group of aliens that have been stranded in the city for almost two decades. Through a bit of nepotism, Wirkus is chosen to lead the operation to clear out the aliens and force them into a smaller compound farther away from the city.

Wirkus is probably the most striking aspect of the movie. In the first moments of the film, we see little clips of him with a wide, unthreatening smile, dressed properly if unfashionable, and cracking a few jokes. He comes off as an optimistic, friendly, and straight-laced bureaucrat, the guy who unexpectedly brightens up your trip to the DMV or the Post Office. You are automatically trapped into liking him.

When he sets off into District 9, however, a less likable side of Wirkus is unveiled. He lies to residents, coerces them with cat food (which these aliens love), and exploits ridiculous loopholes all in order to evict the aliens from their ratty dwellings. He jokes about "aborting" the incubating alien young with the same lilt in his voice and charming smile as when he showed off a picture of his wife.

As one watches the scene, it remains difficult to believe that the same charming man who we met in the office is the same man who is heartlessly forcing the aliens from their shanties. Such behavior is no surprise coming from the rough military men, but not from this slight, kindly desk worker. These cruel actions seem all the more inhuman when they are done by an average, even pleasant man.

This performance in the film made me think of human nature. We all to some degree put on performances and have backstages, as they are called by Erving Goffman. In the character of Wirkus, however, the front and backstage blend in a subtle way. His efficiency, dedication towards his job, and disarming manner become tools of evil when put toward his cruel, heartless work. Although his front may not have changed, his impression most definitely alters.

Structured Response 9/16 4b

2009-09-16T23:10:00.001-07:00

What would happen if you lost your memories? Would you still be yourself? Surprisingly enough, this is not the first time I've pondered this question. When I was six years old, my grandma passed away after several years of struggling with Alzheimer's. Of course, at the time, this did not mean much to me. I actually thought that the disease was called Old Timers. I could not comprehend the gravity of the loss of memories. As I grew older and began to think about it more, I started to realize how horrible it would be to lose your memories. Memories are what make you you. Without them you could reinvent yourself as anything. For example, after a dramatic ferry on the spectacular and ground breaking show Grey's Anatomy, a woman has severe amnesia. Due to this, she decides to reinvent herself as Ava. By doing this, Ava could become anything she wanted to. She could be free and wild, while in her real life she was a boring housewife.

Despite all of this, at a certain point, the idea that she was faking something, that she wasn't truly being herself crept into her mind. This makes me think that some part of your personality is always with you. Even if you lose all of your memories some part of who you are will never leave you. Identity and memory are definitely strongly connected. I think that a lot of who a person is comes from the environment they were raised. Would Charles Manson still have been a crazy cult leader if his mother had never tried to sell him for a glass of beer? Probably not, but I do think some aspects of the personality would remain the same. But really, who knows. I just really hope I never have to find out if I am still me if I lose all my memories.

9.16.09 4b Forgetting the Past

2009-09-16T19:47:00.000-07:00

I'm a huge believer that nurture plays the larger role in the nature versus nurture debate, and as a result I believe that in no way can a person remain unchanged had their past been erased. My identity relies on my past: all the experiences of one's life make a person who they are in the present. Theres millions of factors that decided who I am today. I grew up outside of Philadelphia, was raised by a teacher and a businessman, have an older sister, and a pretty affluent upbringing. Should even one quality of my past be different, so would I today.

That being said, genetics or "nature" certainly does play a role in shaping my character, just not one as important. Genetics shape my appearance, and appearance plays an incredibly large job the creation of experiences. Our DNA also predisposes us for certain illnesses or disabilities, habits and behaviors. Therefore, I'd still be myself in part, but I could never truly be the same.

Nor would I want to be. I don't think I could live without remembering the amazing times of childhood. I'd forget all of the family trips we had: to Alaska, to Hawaii, the Rocky Mountains. I would forget the countless memories at our secluded cabin, the fights with family, friends made, injuries, school, and mistakes. Alzheimer's is one of the most devestating illnesses, and thinking about it now I think it's almost worse for family and friends, rather that the afflicted one. The only thing we can do is continue to live and keep making memories and hope we can keep them forever.

I remember...I

2009-09-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

Bear with me, this is quite the philosophical question:

Strategic remembrance: things we purposefully remember and bring to the front of the brain.
We humans have a tendancy to forget unpleasant things we have experienced and try our best to focus only what we like; memories we are fond of. This is applied to memories that carry emotion the memory (or what we think is a memory) of love, happiness, all that good stuff.

Thinking inately are applied to things that come naturally to us as humans; things without emotion: remembering how to walk, speaking etc.

I don't know enough about the brain to say whether this is a left/right side of the brain split so I'll look it up.............. okay so the left side of the brain is the mathematical side - in my theory - that would be the side where you remember things that are "human nature" and the right side, the creative side, contains all the emotional memories that we configure and transform to meet our expectations.

So is their a discrepancy? No, because you're using different sides of your brains. The two forms of memory are able to co-exist and are used in completely different situations.

(nb. I have a minimal psychology background therefore I could have either made an amazing discovery or pissed off anyone who has even taken Psych 101...

4b

2009-09-16T18:58:00.001-07:00

You are you because of who you are. Your memory simply serves as a witness, saying that yes I remember this event. If you do not have your memory you are still the same person, you swam in a pool once, you laughed, and you cried, you simply forget when you did these things. My great uncle had Alzheimer’s. Over time, he forgot my name, he forgot our jokes, he forgot his songs, but he was still himself. He did not remember the little things or big things, but there were moments when he was the still Uncle B. You may lose the ability to recall events but those events do not make you. Your actions do and he lived until the day he died. He would smile or ask a question and you knew he was still there. Deep down I like to believe he knew that he was the same too, he just could not communicate the fact that he knew. St. Augustine puts connects identity and memory and I think this relationship is true. For example in the basic sense, if you fall off a high ladder you may become afraid of heights. That becomes a part of your identity. That fear from that memory causes you to be identified as a person afraid of heights. If you lose your memory it does not change the fact that you are afraid of heights, you just might forget that.

Structured Response 9.16- 4b

2009-09-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

The loss of memory that results from Alzheimer's most definitely effects one's identity. You know longer retain the experiences and feelings. Your opinions and sentiments are gone from you. All those things which contributed to the definition of who you were vanishes within one's decline.
When one has Alzheimers, however, one does not completely lose their identity. You still have your character and personality intact. You will behave in a similar manner as when you still had your facilities intact. When one loses one's memory in the first place, it only effects one's own view of your identity that was effected by memory. Your friends and family will remember who you were before your Alzheimer's long after you do. Though you will lose your past, your loved ones will preserve you for the future.

9.13.09

2009-09-13T18:39:00.000-07:00

If going to the National Portrait Gallery taught me anything, it's that I need to go back. I was definitely impressed with what I saw and surprised as well. Having only been to a few art museums (though technically it's a history museum), I realized how much I've been missing. I have been to most of Washington DC's museums at some point in my life, however, upon visiting the NPG it was my first museum visit since before arriving at American.

I loved the variety of portraits shown. From presidents to authors to musicians to athletes to the common man, every variety was shown. Not only that, the mediums used varied as well. There were many oil paintings of course, but also photographs, water colors, and sculptures. Each work has it's own character (literally and figuratively), and the medium used reflects that.

I had trouble deciding a favorite, I need more time to explore all the museum has to offer, though I was particularly impressed by the oil painting of abolitionist John Brown. The portrait depicts an aged Brown as the madman he was claimed to be, complete with a massive beard and spiky hair I'm almost convinced he was electrocuted before the artist began. Despite the dark surroundings and attire, Brown's eyes express an incredible fire and ferocity hard to be compared with and. Although he is late in life in the painting, his eyes still live.

I was definitely impressed by all the works our very informative guide showed us. Each piece had its own flavor which was brought to life by her valuable commentary. When I do go back, I plan on spending a lot of time in the modern art gallery which I only briefly walked through, as well as the athletes exhibit. I'm also sure there's many other things I missed as well and look forward to going back, hopefully in the near future.