12.6.09 Final Reflection

Well the end of the semester is near, and for blogs the end is here. Hard to believe. These blogs have been a huge part of my first semester here. At first, I really hated them. They were a seemingly unimportant pain, a distraction to my Sunday and Wednesday nights (since I almost always waited last minute). However, my opinions have changed. As the semester progressed I really began to take our biweekly blogs more seriously, and have enjoyed them more as a result. Usually, I would blog as a way to complain about things in my life or in the world. That's no longer the case. Through blogs we have a way to express more than what we dislike. In reflections and our question assignments we can talk about ideas, dreams, the future, the past. I enjoy them, despite taking months. Nonetheless, I am happy. I realize I wasn't wasting my time. My ability to write informally has drastically improved, a style of writing that until now I was never able to employ in my schoolwork.

Much has changed in my life as I reflect on this first collegiate semester. I came into school with a clear idea of my future: major and graduate with a degree in International Relations, get my Master's somewhere and maybe my PhD, and land a great career like that. Now I have no idea, but I'm not too concerned. We're in college to explore our options, to get to know ourselves better. I've got time. I picked the majority of my second semester courses in areas that interest me and am looking forward to all of them. My work ethic, too, has changed. I've limited my procrastinating, a great step forward from earlier on in the semester and I like it that way and plan to keep it up. Grades have improved and so has my sleep schedule.

So I say goodbye, my bittersweet blog friend. We've had some interesting times together, typically late at night and weary-eyed, though no longer. I'm sure we'll be reunited, though I know not when. Until then, keep frustrating students. It will really pay off, believe it or not. It has for me.

12.2.09 Which community would I join?

This is an incredibly difficult question to answer, but a fun and interesting one nonetheless (for real). What's difficult is that there are so many communities I would join! However, for the sake of this blog question I will choose only one of the incredible amount of communities that appeal to me: Middle-earth, in particular, the Shire.

To those of you that are sadly oblivious to exactly what Middle-earth is, the wondrous land is none other then the setting of Lord of the Rings. The Shire is where those famous hobbits, Frodo, Samwise, Merry, and Pippin reside, or at least did. But why would I like to join their company? Well there's plenty. For one, hobbits know how to have a good time. They have epic feasts with plenty of dancing and tomfoolery. Always a raucous occasion. Gandalf would also be in our company, blowing amazing dragon smoke figures.

I also love the setting itself. The area is similar to England/Scotland. With rolling hills of green velvety grass, the landscape is serene peaceful. Architecture, too, is a great plus. The circular doors of the hobbits' houses are unique and homely, as well as their cozy interiors. It simply is a majestic land.

On a different note, I think it would also be incredible to be a giant compare to the itsy hobbits. All in all, the Shire is a wonderful community that would be welcoming to an outsider giant liek myself. Though I could never realistically join it (well maybe under the influence of hallucinogens), it is always fun to dream.

11.29.09 Reflection

This past week was one dominated, quite understandably, by the prospect of Thanksgiving and the accompanying break. For me, things got off with . I was one of a select few Leonardians on the second floor who stayed over Tuesday night. It was definitely a little eerie having such a quiet floor. Nevertheless, I survived until morning when I had to rise early in order to arrive promptly in Chinatown to take a bus back to Philadelphia. I learned then that traveling the day before Thanksgiving is always a good idea. The bus ride to Philly took 5 hours due to incredible traffic, twice the normal length! The bus dropped me off at Market East train station where I usually take the regional line back to my town. Wednesday, however, my dad was in the city for business and decided to pick me up. The ride home by car is usually twenty minutes, Wednesday's was an hour.

Nevertheless, the wait only added to the eventual satisfaction that only coming home can bring. My dad and I picked up cheese steaks and we, joined by my mom, had a nice meal together heavy with conversation. Though I had been home already this year, coming back for a holiday and for an extended period time produces a much greater dynamic. I enjoyed the bustle that only a holiday can bring: the cooking, shopping, eating, and visiting of friends and family. After dinner, I was picked up by a few of my best friends. I left through the garage and the headlights which blinded me only made me recall old memories together. We united once more and attended a hockey game between our high school and its rival. The game is a tradition. College kids always come back for it, joined by the current high schoolers. It was a sweet reunion filled with hugs and stories, an appropriate welcome back after so much time spent apart. The rest of the weekend was spent with my closest friends and my family.

At home, I realized that I definitely do, after three months, have a part of myself at AU. At home, I really did miss seeing the faces I've come to know well and sleeping in the bed I've become so used to. Thanksgiving break was wonderful, but it was almost a tease. I felt like I'd never been gone but, like that, I was.

Will to Survive

Whether military preparedness is a key concern for the sake of a community's longevity depends greatly on what type of community is being expressed. A country, for instance, has the greatest military capability of any type of community. The sole purpose of a formidable national military is to help ensure the nation's survival. It would appear quite obvious, then, that in order to continue a nation's existence, a strong army, navy, and air force would prove essential. In many cases this is true, however, there are exceptions. Many wars wage today, and countless others have in the past. However, based on a country's values many nations are able to avoid war almost completely.

Countries such as New Zealand, Denmark, and Norway are able to avoid war. As a result they are able to focus funds and resources of non-military programs. Peaceful countries benefit from low unemployment rates, successful educational systems, and low crime rates. When times are sound in relations with nations abroad, times are typically sound internally as well. So where do values come into play? Wars, like those in the Middle East, are fought on the basis of many different values. Religion is the major value at stake in the Arab-Israeli conflict. Governmental values such as political ideologies and leanings are key factors in the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Social inequalities and injustices are values that create animosity between conservative nations like Saudi Arabia, Iran, and Pakistan with more liberal ones liek the United States.

But those peaceful nations are able to avoid conflicts like these. War can be eliminated when values are controlled, when a nation's beliefs remain internal and are unable to affect international relations. Military is the primary concern for Norway. The nation is successful in keeping her nose out of affairs that do not pertain to her well being. Unlike Israel, Norway's military is not a priority. Though survival is indefinitely the ultimate goal of Norway, she is an example that proves survival is possible through non-combatant means.

11.22.09 Reflection

This past week has proved to be one of the most academically challenging ones for me so far at American. I assume professors are trying to get in as much possible before Thanksgiving and they're doing quite a fine job. However, the week has passed and now I am able to examine it.

I particularly enjoyed our Wednesday visit to the National Museum of the American Indian. It was definitely one of my favorite Wednesday labs. Native American history is a topic that really has remained absent in most of my schooling. Except in third grade and in passing during American History, we never learned much. As a result the museum was definitely an eye opener. One of the first things that shocked me about the place was its peculiar but inviting design. It reminded me of a modern pueblo. The crops grown outside the buildings as well as the tipis quickly inform casual the passerby what kind of building they approach. Another surprising tidbit I quickly learned was that despite it's opening in 2004, it is the first museum entirely dedicated to the American Indian.

The interior of the museum was something. After passing through the metal detectors, visitors feels tiny in the great chamber they find themselves in. Circular design definitely plays a great role outside and in. Circularity, I determined after exploring the museum, played a great role in Native American architecture and design. Also, angular shapes were somewhat scarce comparatively.

The content of the museum was informative, but because of the museum's modernity it was successfully able to hold the visitor's attention. Thousands of artifacts are on display in the museum, including arrowheads, jewelry and dolls. Each small exhibit contains descriptions of what is display with information like history and location. I found these greatly enjoyable. However, maybe my favorite part of our trip was in watching about twenty minutes of a film played in the museum's theater. Since we had some time to kill before lunch, a few of us meandered into the theater that was already playing a movie. It was a film of identity: the conflict between a modern American Indian's duty to his people and past and clash which arises in the present. Symbolism was evident in what we witnessed through a recurring crow and the vast expanses of desert. Even though we only caught a glimpse of the movie, it was enough to stir emotions, respect and pity were the greatest I felt. These were also the emotions I felt from the museum as a whole. The history of the American Indian is incredibly tragic, it is impossible not to pity, and it is impossible not to respect a people whose will to survive still lasts today.

11.18.09 A New Alternative

Throughout the history of mankind and its civilizations, war has undoubtedly been the leading means to end disputes. It is impossible to deny the claim. War has existed as long as cultures have clashed. From tribes of cavemen to tribes of Native Americans, from the Greeks to the Goths, wars have always emerged. It is not a question of human nature, it is simply the way things have been. Man versus man has always been the way to determine who is the stronger power, to settle issues. In most cases diplomacy only really is effective after a war has been fought. I do, however, believe times finally may be changing.

I think that with the prevalence of nuclear weapons, warfare in general will gradually come to a halt, at least for the most part. Has it not already? Though conflicts do exist of course, we no longer fight wars with sheer force. World War II and Vietnam type strategies are no longer applicable with the rise of technology. Instead, warfare has changed completely so now that remote controlled weaponry and robots can now fight instead of humans. Of course, this certainly is still warfare and directly applies to the Heinlein's quote, however the trend is shifting towards more peaceful means. Nations now realize that one step out of line means potential nuclear war to end all life on the planet. This tense situation is reassuring. Nations will be hesitant to make drastic moves since extinction is always a possible consequence. As countries began to realize this, warfare decreased.

I also believe that warfare will decrease as more and more women enter politics and the government. Until the only recent past, women had absolutely no say in how countries should be run. The male dominated governments only reflect half of their respective populations. With a more sexually balanced government, decision making will shift. Though maybe not scientifically proven, I think women provide a more humanistic and emotional approach which should limit rash decisions leading to war.

11.15.09 Reflection

Visiting Arlington Cemetery on Wednesday was by far my favorite University College lab this first semester. I had never been to the cemetery before, nor had I ever been to a cemetery in commemoration at all. As a result I was surprisingly blown away by Veterans' Day at Arlington. The first thing that truly caught my eye was the sheer enormity of the cemetery itself. It seemed as if the pale gravestones actually expanded across the entirety of all visible land. An incredible sight. Arlington Cemetery's design is perfect. It is simple, tasteful, and respectful. Since so many graves are identical, the cemetery is able to successfully to identify it's inhabitants as equals, an interesting and important aspect. Gorgeous trees mark the landscape with winding paths carved throughout.

It was refreshing to witness so many people grateful for our nation's soldiers. We witnessed thousands of veterans, family members, friends, students, tourists, and those with no ties to those buried in the cemetery except respect. Tears were shed by some and smiles were worn by others but everyone had something in common: appreciation for those who sacrificed. To join the military is a heroic action that I feel appeals to many people at some in life. To understand that you are a smaller part of a greater mechanism is a frightening, but humbling realization. Those in the military know that for people to continue their small, but meaningful roles in life, action must always be taken to ensure freedom exists. That is where soldiers step in. Without a military of loyal, driven soldiers a nation's people would have a different role: slave. Only one day a year is dedicated to our soldiers, but our thoughts are always with them. For myself at least, I also nod or acknowledge those in uniform whenever I may see one, making sure to lock eyes. They nod or acknowledge me back.

I will most likely never be buried in Arlington. Chances are I will never fire a gun or ride in a tank. For that reason we must thank our soldiers. I don't want to have to fire a gun. Brave men and women step up for that position realizing what is at stake: the greatest sacrifice, their own lives. At Arlington Cemetery I realized a few things, learned some others and was entirely moved. It was an enlightening day and I will return. It will be interesting to compare a typical day at Arlington versus Veterans' Day.

11.8.09 Reflection

Time has been flying along here at American. It is incredibly difficult to believe that we have been here almost three months. It is also hard to believe that the end of the semester is approaching and it is now time to pick classes for the second semester.

The scheduling of second semester classes has been looming for awhile now, and, surprise surprise, until last week I have not given it too much thought. My goal, however, is to have a schedule very different from my first semester. Like pretty much all other freshmen, it was rather difficult to have a very personalized schedule. My goal is pick classes that truly interest me, which I suppose is the goal of any student. But this is a big deal. I wasn't entirely happy with my courses this semester, to say the least, and I really want this second semester to be great. Unfortunately, I will most likely take math. I plan on dropping French and with the conclusion of UC: Explorations I will have much more room to test the waters of different classes. I plan on taking a phys ed class because I have become a bit too lethargic. I also want to explore some anthropology, psychology, sociology, and creative arts classes. Basically, I want to diversify as much as possible. I want this semester to be as successful as it can be, and I think through taking a great variety of interesting classes this can be accomplished.

Also, I had a rather uneventful weekend. I did a fair amount of work and hung out with some friends, but nothing too out of the ordinary. It's nice to have a very relaxing weekend every so often.

11.5.09 Remember Remember the fifth of November...

Wahoo! Guy Fawkes Day!
Anyways, I mostly do agree that in analyzing how a society deals with wealth and poverty directly correlates with a nation's health, and from there, happiness. Though there are many conflicting reports about the happiest nations in the world, the majority of nations which that are wealthy consistently find themselves higher on the happiness scale. There are, of course, exceptions. For example CNN describes Costa Rica as the happiest nation in the world, followed by Dominican Republic, Jamaica, Guatemala and Vietnam. This came as a great shock to me, but most other sources I used found contradictory results.

When nations are wealthy, standard of living typically is high. Remember, I said I mostly agree with the original statement. There are always exceptions. A nation's education system, employment rate, law enforcement effectiveness, and social equalities are examples of important factors which greatly contribute to a nation's standard of living. Typically, these can be achieved with a strong financial backing. When nations have the ability to better these areas, progress can be made, in turn leading to inevitable happiness. Northern European countries often find themselves at the top of the happiness indexes due some of the aforementioned factors. Despite having the world's highest taxes in many areas, Denmark is usually listed as the happiest country. Why? Because these taxes go back to benefit the people. When a country gets it's priorities straight, the people benefit and the country is healthier.

11.1.09 Reflection

It was a fairly exciting past weekend. The holiday atmosphere, despite it only being for Halloween, created a great flurry of activity and hype. Until entering college I never really realized that Halloween was such a big deal. I also never realized how important costumes are, and that it is common to have have not only one, but multiple. Being males, my roommate and I quite naturally waited last minute to prepare our costumes. We left Friday afternoon for Friendship Heights in order to salvage whatever costumes were available at a Halloween superstore. We arrived and found the store packed. The line was about thirty yards long and moved slow. No costumes really appealed to us, maybe because the length of the line remained in our minds or because there really was a limited selection, so we left with a new idea in mind.

We had reason to suspect there was a TJ Maxx in the area which was undoubtedly true. Brad and I purchased a set of bed sheets, complete with pillow case, sheet, and bed cover. They would be the foundation of our costumes. We returned to AU and began our craftsmanship. Brad cut two eye holes in the sheet: ghost! I drew some musical notes on mine, cut two arm holes and a hole for my head. Voila! Sheet music. Both were rather successful in terms of their reception. We did, however, miss trick or treating at the embassies because of tardiness.

I ended up enjoying a weekend of free burritos, wild costumes, and god times with friends. It was my favorite weekend at AU so far and I hope the trend continues. The festive air definitely seemed to heighten everyone's moods resulting many great times. It was a much needed excellent weekend that will without a doubt result in a successful school week.

10.25.09 Reflection

I have been recalling my past in order to understand what it is I want to do with my future. I realize now, sad as it is, that I knew myself better when I was younger than I do now. Then, I had dreams of becoming a baseball player, an astronaut, an archaeologist, an countless others. Today, I really don't know what it is I want to do with my life, except that it does not have to do with the passions I once had as a child. That was until yesterday.

Yesterday was the first time I've ever been to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. It was mind blowing. For the first time in many years, former passions stormed back into my mind. Which passions, you ask? Of archaeology. To be an archaeologist was my most revered potential career while growing up. I loved the subject. I remember in fourth grade I constructed a miniature archaeological dig for the science fair. I hid "ancient artifacts" inside a hardened dirt/clay mix and had other elementary school kids come try their hand at their own dig. It was a hit.

I don't know what happened to that passion. Perhaps it was lost in the midst of a million other career ideas swimming in my mind. Maybe it was lost because I never had any classes remotely close to the topic in my schooling. I don't know. What matters, however, is that for the first time in a while I feel like I have an idea of what I could look like in the future. I can see myself as an archaeologist, or at least a similar profession.

I'm dropping out of SIS at the end of the semester. Instead, I'll be undeclared. I look forward to the change as a way to explore my rekindled passion, as well as other things which interest me. Walking through the Smithsonian, I felt at home. I was mesmerized by the bones, the exhibits of Darwin, of animals, of civilizations. I need to pursue these interests.

10.22.09 AU Community

Of course AU is a community. How else could you explain living in a triple on a floor with fifty other people who eat in the same place, talk to each other every day, go to class together, and simply live together! I don't care about the definitions of community other people have. To me, if you live together you're in a community together, like it or not. However, expanding on my very simple definition, a few other factors come into play. For one, we chose American University. There were thousands of colleges we could have chosen, if we had decided to go to college at all! The fact that every person at American selected American shows every single one of us has at least that in common, and having something in common definitely contributes to the cohesiveness of a community. Another factor is that we crave knowledge, not only of the world but of ourselves. In the specific example of our UC: Explorations crew (which is also a community) we chose the program we did in order to learn about ourselves, as well as the material of courses at AU.

I also don't think it even matters if we're a community or not. Who cares? A community is just a word to describe something everyone knows already exists. Does it really matter how we classify ourselves? If I think we live in a community, it has no bearing whatsoever on anything. We just live together, go to school together, and hopefully get along together. That is all and that's all it should be.

10.17.09 reflection

Recently, I have been considering what exactly it is I want to get out off college. The purpose of college, which has been forced down our throats for as long as we can remember, is pretty much to get a good job come graduation. We are supposed to pick a major and, in doing so, help shape the path our lives will take. Well, the problem for me is that I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. I have considered many options- currently I'm an SIS major so potential government jobs, but also I have considered teaching, psychology/psychiatry, crime and justice, journalism, creative writing and music, and even farming. I just do not know what I want to do. As a result I feel guilty. I feel like I am simply wasting my parents' money pursuing a degree that I may not even want.

College is recognized as a time to explore options, to take a variety of classes to figure out exactly what it is you want to do. The problem for me, however, is that I don't really believe in that philosophy. If I (or, my parents at least) am going to be spending a great amount of time and money on an education, I want to know exactly what it is I want to study, what I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to use college to further my passions to enable me to become the most successful I can be in my area. Until I find that passion, I can't take all my classes seriously. Like in high school, I am tired of doing assignments and papers on topics I care nothing about. That needs to change.

In my nineteen years of existence, I've known nothing but education and school, and I'm a little tired about that. I want to travel, to explore, to learn through experience and hands on application versus through books. I want to live, and until I find a passion for myself I can never be fulfilled in college.

10.11.09 Reflection

Turning nineteen is not an age to really celebrate for. It's not ten, not sixteen, not eighteen, not twenty one. However, I do feel kind of old. It's an odd feeling. Birthdays never really meant too much to me. For me it's only another day. But for others it's quite the opposite. It's a day to celebrate, to have fun with friends. Regardless of one's opinion of birthdays, I was inevitably affected by this last one.

It's strange to step back and realize how time flies. Because it certainly does. Graduating was perhaps the first time I truly realized that I was actually growing up. I'm nineteen. A year away from twenty! What the heck.

It's alright though. I've always waited for the time when I can make decisions for myself, like I've started already. And it's a liberating feeling.

On a completely different note, get ready. The band Beardstache is coming. The masterminds Bradford Parker, Homer Wolman, and Andrew Williamson are brainstorming as they prepare to become the definition of music in the twenty first century. Brace yourself for tracks such as "Water Bearding," "Forty Staches," "100 Meter-stache" and "Shoot Dude, Flush the Stache." They will blow your mind, as well as your beard like a gentle zephyr would. You will know as soon as recording is complete. And you will hear. And your beards willl shake. And quiver. And rumble. By Merlin's beard the world will never be the same.

To be seen, or not to be seen

I've been invisible before. We all have. Sitting in class, the teacher's calling on random students. Who hasn't shrunk away into their desk, pretended to jot something down in a notebook, or look away? Who hasn't walked away from a sad event or argument, wishing not to see anybody, to be alone and as a result not see anybody. We can choose to be invisible, as our narrator does in Invisible Man. His situation, however, is entirely different.

I cannot completely relate to the narrator. His invisibility comes about because of his skin color and the lack of identity that results from his color. He is alone in the world. A person becomes invisible in the worst times. For the narrator he is invisible because his life and dreams were shattered. Now he questions everything he once believed and prefers a life absent of people. The invisible man's lack of identity instills dormancy in his passions. Now, he lives in a basement, a cave covered in bright, bright lights. His aspirations were shattered by a serious of events which resulted in his expulsion at school. He realized that Dr. Bledsoe, a man our narrator once praised, fronts an easygoing, white-abiding demeanor in order to advance his own position. The invisible man's grandfather's words again ring in an already muddled mind. Electroshock zaps whatever is left. The man is pulverized inside, and it is no wonder he lacks a clear identity and chooses to keep himself.

10.4.09 Who the heck am I?

I'm an INFP. Introversion. Intuition. Feeling. Perceiving. Andrew "The Man" Williamson. All in one package. Im just kidding. People don't actually call me "The Man." But after taking the Myers-Briggs type indicator that's honestly what I feel like. I was amazed with the test. The results were close to spot on in describing my kind of personality, the way I'm programmed, me. Perhaps the most important item I received from the test was that the results confirmed things I truly wanted to hear. Perhaps it means nothing. Regardless, the test got me thinking.

I don't talk about myself, my feelings, my personality very often. This is too true in many people's lives. As such, I greatly enjoyed the exercise. I talked about myself through questions on the exam, and in response I received pages discussing me. And it was refreshing. Perhaps the reason why I don't really open up to many people is because I don't think there's enough people to listen, to really sit down and let me talk about me. It's eerie in a way, but in this anonymous setting it seems is almost the easiest way to talk.

I find security in being identified. According to Myers-Briggs I'm in one of sixteen categories. Whether you like personality tests or not, it really is comforting to know you fit in somewhere. My former potential career choices came back in the results of what professions IMFPs take like psychologist, jornalist, writer, poet, editor, musician. These passions which lay somewhat dormant in my current career path rumble a little now. I've been questioning what I really want to do in this thing called life and I found motivation to reconsider the potential of my past passions.

10.1.09 Fiction/Non-Fiction

The genre distinction plays a much more important role in Augustine's Confessions, versus Ellison's Invisble Man. In Augustine's case I would be incredibly angry to learn that the pious piece I put my time into reading was indeed fiction. It would be blasphemy. Augustine makes countless religious claims which he supports through his own personal experiences. If those personal experiences were in fact made up in the pursuit of literary freedom, not only would I be mad, but I would also question Augustine's mental stability. The validity of his work comes from the claim that everything in Confessions is unquestionably true. Should it all be made up, I could never take the work seriously.

In Invisible Man, however, the same is not the case. Had Invisible Man been nonfiction, I think it could only become more valuable and valid. As it is written in first person, the book truly seems as if it is indeed nonfiction, told by the author who is describing his own life. This is not the case. Instead, through the narrator's look back on his fictional life, we are able to discover themes Ellison wants us to discover. Since it is fiction, the author can determine what's important and what's not, versus an autobiography which, though not exclusively but often times explains what has happened and it is mostly up to the reader to determine the defining aspects of the author's life. It would have be a ridiculous tale had it been true, but it is the same tale nonetheless made on Ellison's, not fate's, terms.

9.26.09 Reflection on "Home"

Returning home Friday, September 25th presented a slew of mixed emotions in my already mixed mind. It was overwhelming. Living in Washington DC for this near month and a half stay has been by far my longest time away from home. Until riding the R5 train to our suburban Philadelphia Fort Washington station, I passed the weeks in Washington occupied and invigorated so my mind strayed from thoughts of home. I realize now how much I miss the last eighteen years of my life. The security and love of family, the familiarity of my house's turns, the solitude I find in my bedroom are all greatly missed. Life is changed in college, and only now can I confirm that the seemingly fictional and Hollywood-ized depiction of going home is without a doubt very true.

My mom picked me up at the train station, beaming a smile like I've never seen. She brought our dog Rascal who greeted me in his own, though equally exuberant dog way. My mom proceeded, as planned quite sneakily, to pick up my dad from a different train station as he returned from a long business trip out west. The two returned home and my dad opened the door to find me, his only son, waiting with a hug. He did a double take as he first glanced me, but soon his expression was one of sheer happiness. He even called me as I rode the train home, and I had to carefully place my words so as not to ruin the surprise. It was worth it. He said it was his best surprise ever, that much better since coming off an exhausting trip. We had pizza and hung out for the night. It was a great weekend.

So now I prepare for my voyage home. I have to admit I am a bit melancholy, but optimistic to continue my time if Washington. I appreciate the warmth and comfort of the green leather chair I sit in now. Rascal is sleeping in a familiar spot on the sofa. The Chinctoteague Island Easter Decoy Festival posters wear the cream colored walls behind them. The soft glow of the two shaded lamps evenly fill the room. This is the way things have been for years. I won't see them until Thanksgiving. I'll survive. Leaving home, I learned this weekend, makes the return that much more glorious.

9.20.09 The National Cathedral

The National Cathedral is down right impressive. After touring through England in the spring I was hesitant to believe that anything American could come close to the majestic grandeur that so many English churches and cathedrals possess. The reason? Age. I'm not sure why, but I've always been under the impression that cathedrals can only really attain value in my mind when they're centuries old. The National Cathedral corrected the error in my judgment.

Walking up the path to the cathedral was moving. It doesn't take the pope to realize how incredibly glorious religious buildings can be. You feel minuscule as you approach and as you enter, realizing, even as the nonreligious person I am, that God is greater. In entering I was blown away by how incredibly large the interior is. You're pretty much enveloped in the eerie but reassuring quiet which seems to permeate the building. And I'm not even joking.

One of my favorite aspects of the National Cathedral is the vividly colored stained glass. The almost neon glass depictions are hard to look at for long in some areas, a different step from the cathedrals of old England. However, in the way of those ancient cathedrals, I was happy to hear that everything was built from hand, adding a great deal of authenticity in my book. definitely cannot wait to go back and do more exploring. Cathedrals are some of the few places where you can simply wander around for hours, never knowing what you can stumble upon. In this case, the Darth Vader gargoyle is one. I hope to go back soon and explore the perimeter of the area more, the gardens were beautiful and need more time.

9.16.09 4b Forgetting the Past

I'm a huge believer that nurture plays the larger role in the nature versus nurture debate, and as a result I believe that in no way can a person remain unchanged had their past been erased. My identity relies on my past: all the experiences of one's life make a person who they are in the present. Theres millions of factors that decided who I am today. I grew up outside of Philadelphia, was raised by a teacher and a businessman, have an older sister, and a pretty affluent upbringing. Should even one quality of my past be different, so would I today.

That being said, genetics or "nature" certainly does play a role in shaping my character, just not one as important. Genetics shape my appearance, and appearance plays an incredibly large job the creation of experiences. Our DNA also predisposes us for certain illnesses or disabilities, habits and behaviors. Therefore, I'd still be myself in part, but I could never truly be the same.

Nor would I want to be. I don't think I could live without remembering the amazing times of childhood. I'd forget all of the family trips we had: to Alaska, to Hawaii, the Rocky Mountains. I would forget the countless memories at our secluded cabin, the fights with family, friends made, injuries, school, and mistakes. Alzheimer's is one of the most devestating illnesses, and thinking about it now I think it's almost worse for family and friends, rather that the afflicted one. The only thing we can do is continue to live and keep making memories and hope we can keep them forever.