Final Reflection

Wow! I guess I am starting this off like everybody else, but I seriously can't believe that the semester has come to an end! It really does feel like we just got here but at the same time, I feel like I have learned so much.

It is actually pretty funny. For awhile I was slightly confused about what it was I was supposed to be learning, but then it hit me. This class was not really about the books and other things that we read. Like Allie Cat said in her reflection, this class is more about learning from other people. We were all able to come into a situation in which we could voice our opinions about so many different thing and also learn from what other people in the class had to say. It was so interesting to see that I have the exact same opinion as many other people in the class about so many different topics. It was also very interesting to hear about situations from the perspective of people who had completely different ideas about things.

Surprisingly enough, Explorations has actually been helpful in my other classes. I can't count the number of Goffman references I have made to people who have no idea what I am talking about. Even though I still have no idea what I am going to do with my life, I feel like this class has been valuable. I've learned that there are a lot of people out there who feel or felt the exact same way as I do. Hearing the guest speakers say over and over again that everything just manages to work out in the end was not exactly pleasant at the time, it is good to know that even incredibly successful people did not always have a plan. I guess overall, the most important thing I've learned is that there is not an exact science to figuring things out in life. They just sort of work out and hopefully, for all of us, in the end, things really will work out.

Reflection

I have to say, it was really nice to be home. To have my mom cook me food that actually tasted something and the be able to go sleep in my bed was amazing! It was weird, though. It is almost as though time stopped at home. When I got home, other than the fact that we got a dog that no one told me about (he's so cute, but his name is Nelson which is kind of a drawback), everything was the same. I found myself wondering when I would be going back to school and not thinking about my classes here, but thinking about my high school. It was a very strange situation. I fell back into my old routines with my little brothers and my sister.

I guess that is one of the things about family. No matter how annoying they may be, and no matter how many times I think that I never want to see them again, they are people who you can be completely comfortable with. I don't have to keep a front up around them or act like someone else. I can act however I want to and I can be completely sure that, even though they probably don't like me a lot of the time, my family loves me and will always be there for me. I guess that is what I learned during this break. No matter how many things change in my life, I can always go home and do the same old stuff.

The Necessity of Military

Ideally a community would never need a military. Everyone would live in peace at all times and war would be eliminated. This, of course, would be the way it was in a perfect world. If the world was perfect, every country would have no military. Unfortunately, it is not a perfect world and in order for a country to survive, it must have a military. As soon as one country has the ability to take over another through violence, every other country must make sure it has the ability to defend itself. Right now, a community can have everything. It can be full of individuals who support and love their country. It can have wealth and access to everything it needs it support its people, but that does not protect it from the actions of other countries.

Because of this, it is obvious that a military is a very important part of any country, but it is also seems as though Heinlein thinks that the military should be used. He holds the military in very high regard and although I believe that military is important it should not be the most important part of the country. It should be made to be good enough so the country can defend itself against potential threats but there should be more important aspects of the country. I think it is more important that the people of the country have good lives. If this means the military must be the most important part and most developed part of the country then it must be that way.

Reflection

Wow! I can't believe how quickly Thanksgiving has come. I feel like I just got here a couple of weeks ago. It is very strange for me to be thinking about going home because I have not been home since I got here. I feel like when I go back home nothing is going to have changed. I feel like time should have stopped, but clearly this is not going to the case. It is going to be so strange to see that things have kept moving at home even though I am not there.

Well, anyway, I guess because it is approaching Thanksgiving it was somewhat appropriate that we visited the National Museum of the American Indian this week. I was actually pretty excited to go to the museum this week. I had heard from several people that it was a pretty cool museum and I had been interested in going to it for a while. When we first arrived, I found the design of the museum to be very interesting. It almost looked like something that belonged in a desert somewhere in the west and not in the middle of DC. The inside of the museum was pretty unique as well. I really enjoyed the section that displayed the artwork of Brian Jungen. I found it very interesting to see stereotypical Native American things made out of modern day things. Now that I have written that out, it seems slightly offensive. I know that there are plenty of Native Americans who are active members of society today, but for some reason, whenever someone says something about American Indians I automatically think of Pocahontas and Crazy Horse. I guess a lot of people have this conception as well because I noticed that much of the museum focused on modern day American Indians. I guess for Thanksgiving this year I should think about these modern day people and not just the people who lived years and years ago.

Is Violence the answer?

I am sure everybody has been told at one point or another that violence is not the answer. That is what almost everyone is taught at some point in their life. Despite what we are taught, no one ever seems to mention the effectiveness of violence. We all know that it is not good. We all know we are not supposed to use violence, but when it really comes down to it, violence does work. You can spend hours and hours trying to convince someone to do something verbally, but at any point they can change their mind and back out. When violence is involved, it usually only takes a few seconds to get a person to do what you want them to. This is probably one of the reasons that there are so many wars. Diplomats and leaders can talk to each others forever and there is still a strong possibility that they will not agree on anything. Instead, if violence is involved, things get done much more quickly.

I know this would be an appropriate time to rattle off a list of examples when violence has more efficiently than words alone, but unfortunately, I really cannot name any and it is clear that other people here have a much greater knowledge of these things than I do. For my part, all I can really say is that in an ideal world, violence would never, ever be the answer, but unfortunately, in the world we live violence works. It gets things done and changes things more quickly than anything else in the world. So it is a fact that violence has probably settled more issues in our history than anything else. Violence makes sure that one person gets there way and that the others do not. At the end of the day, it is not the right thing to do, but it is clearly very effective.

reflection 11/14

Wow, I know I have probably said this about fifteen times, but I cannot believe how quickly time is passing here! Anyway, this week, our visit to Arlington was a very interesting experience for me. When I heard that we were going to visit the cemetery, I had mixed feelings. I think that Arlington is a very interesting and unique place. I have visited several times because my grandmother was buried there when I was very young, but my hesitation about visiting did not come from this. Unfortunately, this trip was the first one that I have made to Arlington since my grandfather's funeral at Arlington last march. Needless to say, it was a slightly strange experience. This was the first time I saw his headstone up, and for some reason, something about that really hit me. It definitely made his death more concrete and was a pretty strange experience.

Despite this, I think Arlington is a very interesting place to visit. Of course the attractions like the tomb of the unknown soldier and JFK's burial site are always cool to see, but for me, the most moving part of the entire experience is looking out at all the headstones. Looking out across the headstones, especially in the areas where they are all aligned and homogeneous is crazy. It is hard to think that so many people have died after taking some part protecting and serving our country. It was also upsetting to see the headstones from some of the more recent burials. While making the trek to my grandfather's grave, I walked through some other headstone and I noticed some of the dates on them. Some of them had birth dates from 1987 or 1986. Seeing these headstones was one of the most upsetting experience of the entire visit. It was very disturbing for me to think about the fact that people who are only a few years older than me have lost their lives in such a brave and honorable way. I am very glad that there is a day to honor these people because I think that it is definitely deserved.

Reflection

Wow! I can't believe we have all been in college for almost three months! It is crazy. I feel like I just got here. It is crazy to think about all of the stuff I have learned without even thinking about it. Now, down to the business of this reflection. For some reason, this week, the lab stuck in my mind. I did find the performances very interesting, but they were not necessarily what stuck with me. Instead for some reason I have been thinking about acting. I have never been comfortable with acting. I tense up and feel incredibly nervous. I don't know why this happens to me when I try to act, but it always does. Looking around the room, it was clear that some people felt the same way as me. I could see the look of fear and disgust in their eyes that was probably present in my eyes as well. But, surprisingly enough, as a I looked around I also saw another look. A look of happiness and enjoyment. This got me to thinking, what is it that makes some people comfortable with acting and others hate it?

This may be a stretch but maybe all of this has something to do with identity. We all act most of the time. This type of everyday acting comes as easily to me as it does to everybody else, but why is it that when I am told to act so everybody can observe, I just cannot do it? I think this may be a result of me not wanting my everyday acting to be caught. Maybe people who are natural actors and have no qualms about going on stage are the types of people who are readily able to admit that acting occurs all the time and we should embrace it, not hide it. I do not know if this will make any sense to anybody else, but maybe someone else out there can figure out what I am trying to say.

Reflection 10/31

I have spent a little while thinking about what I want to write my reflection about this week. At first I thought I would talk about Halloween and all the strange identities that are wrapped up in it, but honestly I do not feel like discussing the difference in identity between girls who wear skanky Dorothy costumes and those who wear a slutty flapper getup. I also could not really come up with a topic from class that I have been dying to discuss, but for some reason, my mind keeps returning to out college search discussion.

I know I was pretty adamant about my opinion in class, but it still has been something that has been bothering me. I do not understand why everyone was being so negative. American is clearly not Harvard. I am not going to lie and say that I wouldn’t think it was awesome to go to an Ivy League or school that is right below them, but let’s be serious. There was absolutely no way that I would ever have gotten into any of these schools and if for some crazy reason (i.e., my mother worked in the admissions office of Princeton) I did get in, I would probably be incredibly unhappy. I would like to get a good education and do something with my life, which is why I am at American University. I also would like to not be stuck in my room with piles and piles of books and skin that rarely sees the light of day, which, other than the fact that I could never have gotten in, is why I am not at Harvard or another one of those schools. Everyone seems to look at American as a safety school. I looked at American as a school that I would be happy at. It was a school I could reasonably get into in an area I liked. I am not going to say that I have always been one hundred percent sure of my decision. I did spend a lot of time worrying that this was not the school I was meant to be at, but now that I am here I realize there is not just one school. If someone puts the effort into being happy, he or she will be happy. If they don’t, they won’t be. So I think that everyone should stop complaining and start to make an attempt at being happy. By the way, Happy Halloween!

The Importance of Individualism

I am sure we have all watched a movie or read at book based in the past and though, "Wow, I would love to in [plug in the appropriate time period]." I know that I am guilty of watching Pride and Prejudice and thinking about how great it would be to morph into Elizabeth Bennet. I would get to live in a world full of romance and excitement! Life just seems to be better back then. Families stayed together and got along. People were friendly and got along with each other. All of this seem idyllic for a while. That is, until I realize that I would be forced to be a submissive woman without rights who would be subjected to hours of meaningless small talk and spend my life creating pointless artwork and children. The range of what was socially acceptable would be very limited. Things would not be perfect and idyllic, instead I would be living in a time of suppression that would be unlivable due to my experiences of living in a time period in which almost everything is geared towards making every individual feel unique and original.

I do not think that individualism is a problem in our society. I actually believe that is a very necessary part of life. Although living in a place in which individual needs do not matter and in which everyone works for the common good may be successful, I do not see a way for individuals to thrive in this type of environment. Instead I think that individual expression is important, because once a person has the ability to do whatever they want to do, within reasonable limits, they have the opportunity to make him or herself happy. I think a major problem that many people have today is that they do not take the initiative to make their lives better. Instead of looking on the bright side, people would rather sit around and nitpick about every last detail of their lives that is not perfect. Happiness is about attitude and if a person really wants to be happy, all he or she really needs to do it look at the positive things in their life and try to change the things that are negative. Many people have worked very hard to give us the freedoms that we now have, so instead of complaining, we should utilize our resources and make ourselves happy.

Choices or Fate?

Now that we have had quite a few successful people come to talk to us about there lives and how they managed to become successful, I am starting to think that it might be more helpful to bring in people who are incredibly unsuccessful and try to figure out what they did wrong. It is not that I do not enjoy hearing what the people who come to talk to us have to say, but for the most part, they all seem to say that there success is due to some sort of randomness. Hearing President Kerwin speak was very interesting, but like most of our guests he did not help me to learn anything about myself. He discovered that he loved teaching and figured out that it was how he wanted to spend his life and somehow that worked out. Then he worked his way to the top and now he is the president of American University. That really gives me nothing for myself, except giving me the idea that no matter how hard I work and no matter what I do, my success or failure will be based on randomness.

This is why I thought it might be interesting to talk to someone who is completely unsuccessful. Maybe they would have some insight into why they failed, but more then likely, they would say things just did not work out. The stars were not aligned properly. This all leads me to believe that I should just work hard, find things I love and find a way to not care about being successful because clearly if it is not meant to be it is not meant to be. All any of us can do is try our hardest and maybe pay a few people off get fate on our side.

AU's Community

Of course, on first thought, it is easy to assume that AU is community. We are a group of people with some things in common. Everyone here clearly has something in common because we all chose to be part of the same school. It would be easy to assume that because of this, we are all strongly linked in the type of community that Joe Gorman would be proud of. Looking around the campus, there are many common events. Things that many people do together. People seem to have similar ideals and tastes.

Despite all of this, I am hesitant to say that AU has one strongly linked community. This may be because I am only a quarter of the way through of my freshman year or because I am reluctant to believe that any place has one strongly linked community. In my opinion, communities are more closely related to close groups of families and friends than they are to random groups of people who happened to end up in the same location because they have a couple of random similarities. When I think about what I miss about home, I usually think about my family and my friends. I am not at all embarrassed to admit that there has not been one instance in my time away from home that I have thought, "Gee, I really miss the random festivals that occurred in my town because a couple of people had interests in putting together a community." This is similar to the way that I see communities on campus. I do not believe that there is one unified community on campus, but instead I think that there are many smaller communities made up of groups of friends who mutually care about and support each other. To me, this does not mean that the people here are not proud to be part of American University, it just means that being part of a group does not necessarily make it a community.

Reflection

Having spent the last couple of weeks talking about invisibility, the topic is fresh in my mind. At first, I thought invisibility was a horrible. I thought that I would never want to be invisible, but recently, I have been wondering whether invisibility is such a bad thing. When a person is visible and present, things are expected of him or her. They are supposed to dress well, be well mannered, and most importantly, they are so supposed to be successful. If a person is invisible, none of these things are expected of them. They can do whatever they want. I think that this freedom could actually give people the ability to be truly happy, because instead of focusing on what is expected of them, they could do what they actually wanted to do and most likely, end up being much more fulfilled than a person who is forced to follow the rules of society instead.

Of course, invisibility would not be completely good. Throughout our discussion on invisibility, I have been remembering an episode of Heroes. In this episode, a man who has the ability to be invisible is a central character. Unlike what would ideally happen, this man is incredibly bitter about his invisible and becomes something of a misanthrope. He lives alone, because, of course, invisibility prevents him from having true relationships with any people. I guess this means that although sometimes I think that it would be very, very nice to be able to not be seen by anybody, in reality it would probably be a negative aspect. Like I keep saying in class, friends are important. If a person is all alone, they will never be able to be happy.

Reflection

Recently, the idea that I need to start deciding what I want to do with my life has been weighing pretty heavily on my mind. I have never been one of those people who has been able to say I want to be a doctor or a teacher or anything else. One day I think that the only thing that could ever make me happy is to be a famous actress and then the next day I think that being a librarian would be the only thing that would bring me true happiness. I am sure that many of us have been going through similar struggles. With the "real world" just around the corner and knowing the amount of people stuck in careers that they absolutely hate, how can trying to find something that we love not be an issue? For this reason, I find it very interesting to hear from successful adults who have found their true callings in life, or at least pretend to be happy when they talk to us.

This week, I found listening to Mary Hansen very interesting. I liked her idea that we should not limit ourselves to one thing very much, but at the same time, I do not know how helpful applying this philosophy into my personal life would actually be. I am not a very focused person and I have many interests, so I think that if I attempted everything I wanted to, I would just be going around taking random classes and doing random things for the next fifty years. I guess this is probably what I will be doing for a little while, though, hoping that something will stick. If not, I guess I am just going to have to settle for something random and hope that it all works out for the best. If there is one thing that the speakers have kept reiterating it is that we should not worry so much, that everything will work out for the best in the end, so I guess for now, I just have to work on not worrying and hope that this does not lead me into a career in prostitution and a young death.

Who Can Be Invisible?

What does it mean to feel invisible? I think we would all be lying if we said we have never felt invisible. No matter if you are at the top of a social hierarchy or at the very bottom, I think there are situations in which everyone sacrifices their true beliefs in order to satisfy the requirements that social norms demand and by doing so become invisible. Despite this, I do believe that being at the bottom of the racial hierarchy probably increases the amount of time that a person spends being "invisible". I think that there have been many clear examples supporting this idea in what we have read in the Invisible Man.

Throughout the novel, the narrator has been struggling to find meaning and purpose in his life, and in many situations, instead of embracing what he truly likes, he has followed what others have wanted him to do. I believe that the narrator's naiveté also leads him into hiding aspects of his true self. This is evident near the very beginning of the novel when the narrator takes place in the "battle royal", in which he and his fellow classmates humiliated themselves for the pleasure of some of the prominent white men of the town. The narrator leaves this situation only thinking of the speech he made towards the end and feeling very proud of himself. I think this shows an obvious amount of naiveté in the narrator. During the battle royal, the narrator is completely invisible, but at this point he still does not realize that he is not seen. He thinks that the men are proud of him and that they support his ideas and his speech, while really he was just an object of ridicule.

For a while, the narrator continues to be invisible but he does not seem to realize it. The incident with Bledsoe and Norton proves his invisibility to a great extent. The narrator seems to think that both of these men have his best interests at heart, when they are really both selfish and uncaring men. Both men offer to help the narrator while simultaneously turning their backs on him. He is seen as inconsequential and therefore invisible by almost everyone. Even when he begins to work for the brotherhood he is still invisible. He is simply a tool being used by the brotherhood as a mean to an end. When Brother Jack first introduces him to other members, a woman even asks if he should be blacker. I think that much of what the narrator experiences could be experienced by anyone who is naive and desperate for purpose and meaning in their life. He is easily manipulated, like many young people seeking approval are, but at the same time, I think much of what he experiences is heightened because he is basically at the bottom of the racial hierarchy and is also very insecure. As of this point, though, the narrator does not seem to realize how invisible he is. Because of the name of the novel, I doubt he will do anything to combat his invisibility, but at the same time, if the narrator just realizes he is not seen by anybody else, he might be able to improve his life.

Reflection 10/3

After getting the feedback from my Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test i was not very surprised. During class when we were guessing what we were, I could figure out pretty simply which type I would be, but this was not necessarily because I know my personality all the well. I think it had more to do with the mood I was in when I was taking the test. I will freely admit that I was not in the best mood when I was taking the test. My results were INFP, and I think that to some extent they were accurate. I am a somewhat introverted person, but this introversion is heightened when I am not in a good mood. Also, when I am in a bad mood, I am slightly more irrational. I think this could have had a somewhat meaningful impact on the other three types that I got. I Despite this, I thought the results were interesting. Many of the things that the test said about me were true. I can be very sensitive and I can also be disappointed easily. I also think that I am a somewhat creative person who is curious about many possibilities.

I was very excited to learn about what careers would be good for me because I currently I am undecided. I found some of the suggestions interesting, but I am not really sure I would be very interested in any of the suggestions. They did get me to start thinking about where my life could be going though. Maybe in a couple of years I will actually know, but until then the MBTI has given me some interesting things to think about.

Reflection 9/27

This weekend I had the opportunity to watch two very different movies and for some reason the disparity between the two movies made me think of the different fronts movies put on. One of the movies I watched was a terrific horror movie called Descent. When I say it was terrific I mean it was terrible. The basic plot was that six woman trying to find some excitement in their lives decide to travel into a cave which is, of course, inhabited by either bats that evolved into semi-humans or humans who evolved semi-bats. Of course, these bat things jump out of dark places and then attack and mutilate the women who quickly turn on each other. The other movie I watched was a bollywood movie called Dil Se. This gem told the story of a man who looked at a woman once and fell madly in love with her. Despite only having seen her once and never actually having a conversation with her, the man decides to hunt the woman down relentlessly and tell her of his endless and undying love for her, even after it is revealed that the woman is affiliated with a terrorist organization.

Although I really did enjoy watching both of these movies, afterwards I could not help but think about how stupid they were. People want certain things from their movies, and at certain points in the movie, I felt that the movies would be so much better if the directors did not give the people what they wanted. There are certain formulas that most movies tend to follow. For instance, in Dil Se, at the end the man and woman both reveal their true love to each other. I think the movie would have been much better if the man instead realized that he was in love with his faithfully waiting fiance, instead of the woman who is attempting to blow up half the participants in a parade. I don't know if this is relevant at all, but I really think that in some situations, movies would be much better if they were not constantly following the same stupid formulas and were actually surprising.

Structured Response 9/23

Nowadays, it seems as though every single person who has some miniscule amount of fame is coming out with an autobiography. As much as I enjoy watching Chelsea Lately, is it really necessary for Chelsea Handler to come out with an autobiography entitled My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands? Probably not, but would it be enjoyable to read about the humorous and embarrassing one night stands of another person. Probably.

What makes a person worthy of writing about their life? To some extent, I think that having a unique perspective on life merits writing an autobiography. If someone was able to overcome some problem, chances are someone in the world would like to read about how they did it. At the same time, I find it incredibly annoying that every fame seeking bimbo has to come out with an autobiography. Do both Paris Hilton and her dog need autobiography. I think that is really unnecessary. If you have nothing to teach anyone or you are a dog, you should not waste trees and keep your thoughts to yourself. I believe if a person is writing the genuine, heartfelt story of his or her life and what they have learned, it is okay for them to write an autobiography. Maybe I would not want to read it, but someone in the world probably would, but when it comes to people writing ridiculous things just to maintain or gain fame, I think it is annoying and unnecessary.

Impostor Complex Reflection

This week we all had the opportunity to listen to Debra Humphreys speak. I found some of what she said confusing. For instance, she spoke about the things that we all need to do to make us more likely to get jobs in the future, but at the same time she was saying she got to where she is in life by luck. Despite this, I did find one thing she mentioned interesting and this was the Impostor Complex. For some reason, this idea stuck with me, and I began to think about how much easier life would be if everyone just admitted that they are not perfect and that a lot of the time, the feel out of place. I know that I an admit pretty easily that I feel out of the place most of the time. Before anyone says that I am being a Debbie Downie, it is not that I feel badly about myself, it has more to do with the fact that I don't really think that I am acting like myself. Life would be so much easier if everyone could just act like they wanted to and not be judged.

This leads me to another point. Whilst watching an episode of the Tyra Banks Show, I found out that there is a fairly large phenomenon of women partaking in do-it-yourself plastic surgery. What type of society do we have if people feel so badly about themselves and feel such a need to conform to social norms that they would risk never being able to sit down comfortably again to have a J.Lo-like bottom end? This might seem like a stretch, but I think if there was a better way for people to admit that they do not feel perfect, and they do not feel like they belong all the time, people would feel so much better about themselves. Like the message on the inside of my Dove Chocolate keeps telling me, I shouldn't feel the need to be perfect, and no one does.

Structured Response 9/16 4b

What would happen if you lost your memories? Would you still be yourself? Surprisingly enough, this is not the first time I've pondered this question. When I was six years old, my grandma passed away after several years of struggling with Alzheimer's. Of course, at the time, this did not mean much to me. I actually thought that the disease was called Old Timers. I could not comprehend the gravity of the loss of memories. As I grew older and began to think about it more, I started to realize how horrible it would be to lose your memories. Memories are what make you you. Without them you could reinvent yourself as anything. For example, after a dramatic ferry on the spectacular and ground breaking show Grey's Anatomy, a woman has severe amnesia. Due to this, she decides to reinvent herself as Ava. By doing this, Ava could become anything she wanted to. She could be free and wild, while in her real life she was a boring housewife.

Despite all of this, at a certain point, the idea that she was faking something, that she wasn't truly being herself crept into her mind. This makes me think that some part of your personality is always with you. Even if you lose all of your memories some part of who you are will never leave you. Identity and memory are definitely strongly connected. I think that a lot of who a person is comes from the environment they were raised. Would Charles Manson still have been a crazy cult leader if his mother had never tried to sell him for a glass of beer? Probably not, but I do think some aspects of the personality would remain the same. But really, who knows. I just really hope I never have to find out if I am still me if I lose all my memories.

The National Portrait Gallery Reflection

After going to the National Portrait Gallery this week, the question of whether or not I would want a portrait really stuck in my mind. For some reason, my automatic response was no, but I am not really sure why. I guess the deeper question behind this is whether or not I would want to be remembered after I am dead and gone. I don't know why, but the idea of people talking about me and discussing me after my death really bothers me. I don't want random people to look at my picture 100 years from now and think eww that girl was so ugly, she really should have gotten a nose job. It would be so weird for people who don't even know me to look at me and judge me. After letting the question simmer for a little while, I think it would be kind of cool to have my image be remembered by future generations. I personally think it would be pretty awesome if I could some how see what my great great great grandmother looked like, but at the same time, I don't want a hideous picture of myself in display in some museum that middle schoolers are forced to make treks to.

The idea of people who never knew talking about me creeps me out a little bit, but seeing portraits of people, especially from a long time ago was exciting. I especially liked looking at the old photographs because they were almost like proof that people really did exist a long time ago in a similar manner as they do now. This could all change in the future. I might become a crazy tyrannical leader and have paintings of myself plastered all over the place. You never know.