10.25.09 Reflection

I have been recalling my past in order to understand what it is I want to do with my future. I realize now, sad as it is, that I knew myself better when I was younger than I do now. Then, I had dreams of becoming a baseball player, an astronaut, an archaeologist, an countless others. Today, I really don't know what it is I want to do with my life, except that it does not have to do with the passions I once had as a child. That was until yesterday.

Yesterday was the first time I've ever been to the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. It was mind blowing. For the first time in many years, former passions stormed back into my mind. Which passions, you ask? Of archaeology. To be an archaeologist was my most revered potential career while growing up. I loved the subject. I remember in fourth grade I constructed a miniature archaeological dig for the science fair. I hid "ancient artifacts" inside a hardened dirt/clay mix and had other elementary school kids come try their hand at their own dig. It was a hit.

I don't know what happened to that passion. Perhaps it was lost in the midst of a million other career ideas swimming in my mind. Maybe it was lost because I never had any classes remotely close to the topic in my schooling. I don't know. What matters, however, is that for the first time in a while I feel like I have an idea of what I could look like in the future. I can see myself as an archaeologist, or at least a similar profession.

I'm dropping out of SIS at the end of the semester. Instead, I'll be undeclared. I look forward to the change as a way to explore my rekindled passion, as well as other things which interest me. Walking through the Smithsonian, I felt at home. I was mesmerized by the bones, the exhibits of Darwin, of animals, of civilizations. I need to pursue these interests.